I am always eager to order calamari as an appetizer when I eat out. Yum. I enjoy the chewy texture which makes it seem like the calamari is fighting back a bit when I’m eating it. Give up calamari. You cannot defeat my jaws of steel and digestive juices.
Michael Cohen threw us a calamari appeteaser with his testimony when he dropped the name of Matthew Calamari numerous times. Who? Was Michael Cohen talking about a favorite character in Good Fellas or The Godfather?
Calamari is apparently former security muscle and now the COO of the Trump Organization. Do you think he knows some stuff that Americans would like to know? Get ready to see this guy Matthew Calamari in front of some House committees being grilled in the near future.
In what I can only guess was a 100% purely Pavlovian response, I literally started eating popcorn as the Michael Cohen congressional hearing began.
I saw some 3-5-3 haiku on Twitter regarding Florida House Rep and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz threatening Michael Cohen via this tweet.
I could not resist trying my hand at some haiku. I came up with a lot of variations on the same theme, but finally settled on this.
Gaetz sends tweet
The latest news is that Michael Cohen’s lawyers have quit, allegedly due to a disagreement over fees. Who would have ever guessed that Donald Trump’s lawyer would not pay his bills? I guess the rotten apple doesn’t fall too far from Trump Tower.
But why not save a ton of money and just represent himself if he’s a lawyer? Oh right, he got his degree from the Thomas Cooley Law School which was recently mentioned by Politico as being the worst law school in the US. Regardless, it isn’t going to take much lawyering to plead guilty to the rock-solid case the feds are preparing against him.
With all that said, I have decided to contribute to Michael Cohen’s legal defense fund, on 1 giant condition …
BREAKING NEWS …
The crack(head) investigative journalists at Jim Flanigan Looks at the World have been able to positively confirm that of the hundreds of thousands of dollars coming into Michael Cohen’s shell company, Essential Consultants, not one dollar was spent on clothing or tailoring. Proof follows …
If you are going to wear plaid, make sure you have the body for it or an excellent tailor unless you want to look like this …
Random Thought 1
Anytime I get a slice of Swiss cheese in the package without any holes, I feel like a big winner.
Random Thought 2
Instead of saying “God bless you” or “Gesundheit” after someone sneezes, I am going to start saying “No collusion.”