Plunging into a War on Toilets

This past week was historic. We went to the brink of war with Iran. The Senate impeachment trial of Donald Trump began. Documents and testimony became public showing how agents of Donald Trump conspired to remove and possibly harm former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch. But at Trump’s latest rally in Milwaukee, what did he identify as a danger to the USA? That’s right, household appliances. Toilets, sinks, showers, dishwashers, light bulbs, and even refrigerators. Here’s a transcript of that part of his speech or rant or dementia-addled diatribe attacking the appliances. The bolding is from me at crucial parts.

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War with Iran has weighed heavy on my mind this past week. I think I have figured out how this Iran mess transpired. Here’s my recreation of possible actual, imaginary conversations.

January 2

Advisor: Happy New Year, President Trump. Impeachment chatter will start again soon.

Trump: We need a distraction. What’s the craziest thing I can do in response to pro-Iranian militants storming our embassy in Iraq?

Advisor: Well, the military’s most extreme option, which they only submitted to make the other options look more attractive, is to assasinate Iran’s #2 in command.

Trump: Hmmm, taking out the Iranian Pence. Sounds good. Let’s do that.

Advisor: But, Mr. President …

Trump: My gut tells me that’s right and that I need a Big Mac. It’s go time on both.

January 8

Advisor: Missiles launched by Iran have landed at 2 of our air bases in Iraq.

Trump: Hmmm, Iranians must like their Pence more than America likes ours. More importantly, how do the polls look?

Advisor: Republicans and Democrats polled are united in their opposition to war with Iran.

Trump: Hmmm, let’s take a look at that sanctions thingy.

Goodbye USA, Hello Talossa

I was in a fit of pique Tuesday night over Trump’s potential war with Iran. I felt like that was the last straw. I was done with the USA. Sure, I will be on the ballot in Spring of 2020 as a candidate for Democratic Precinct Committeperson. But do I really want to live in a country that would elect me for any position?

First things first though. I needed to get my middle daughter up to Milwaukee for some dance thing in preparation for her dancing in Milwaukee over the summer. Yes, she’s majoring in dance in college. That’s the good news. The bad news is that she’s returning to college for a fifth year so she can also major in history. I’m not sure if she plans to be a dancing historian or a historical dancer.

After dumping my daughter off in downtown Milwaukee, my first sightseeing stop was the Arthur Fonzarelli statue. Who, you ask? That would be Fonzie from the old Happy Days television show, as portrayed by actor Henry Winkler. I’d love to show the selfie I took with The Fonz, but I couldn’t find the statue. In fairness, I didn’t look hard and didn’t leave the car. So as not to disappoint this blog’s readers (as if I could disappoint you even more than normal), here’s a pic I found on the internet.

Fonz Bronze

Looks fun … until you get close. Take a look.

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Finally, A Candidate With a Plan for US Troops

Mike Huckabee is trying to distance himself from the other Republican candidates with a specific plan for US Armed Forces and maybe even the FBI. Sure, he may go after ISIS and certainly Iran is on his radar.  But there is another enemy …

“We’ll see when I’m president.”

— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) July 30, 2015

Well, finally we will be able to see an excellent use of US Troops …
pitted against licensed medical professionals.