Old Jokes Are The Worst
Tag: humor
My Mada is Your Mada is Armada
BREAKING NEWS …
The USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier, said by various members of the Trump administration including Trump himself to be the centerpiece of an “armada” heading to the Korean peninsula when it was actually nowhere close, has reportedly been spotted in Lake Michigan off the coast of Chicago.
Armada, Not Your Mada
Both Defense Secretary Jim Mattis and National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster proclaimed that it was a prudent decision to sent the USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier to the Korean peninsula about a week ago.
Of course, the Cheeto-in-Chief couldn’t keep quiet and wanted the world to know that he was very well aware of what was heading to the Korean peninsula …
“We are sending an armada. Very powerful. We have submarines. Very powerful, far more powerful than the aircraft carrier, that I can tell you,” Trump said in an interview with Fox Business Network.
Except he didn’t send an armada. Now we find that the USS Carl Vinson has been nowhere close to the Korean peninsula. I think it is just a matter of time before we see this Trump tweet …
Continue reading “Armada, Not Your Mada”
Trump’s Easter Tweet Surprise for Jesus
The entirety of the Christian faith is based upon the Easter holiday, not Christmas as some think. Easter just plays second fiddle to Christmas because the gifts are not as big, although the chocolate is yummy. Regardless of what you may personally believe, there is no dispute that Easter is truly the holiest of holy holidays for Christians. And on that Christian holy day of Easter in 2017, we get this nonsensical rant (that I initially thought were “joke” Trump tweets like those that I sometimes create) tweeted out …
And this is the irreverent idiot that Christian evangelicals helped elect?
“Oy vey” – Jesus, upon seeing his Twitter feed yesterday.
Mite Be Funny #6
Happy Tweetster!
Friend Helping Friend to Friend’s Money
It’s that time of the year again to get out the old lawn mower and fire it up, or hope to.
Yep, that was me yesterday except older, balder, and my neighborhood association bylaws forbid me from any lawn care without a shirt.
But finally, success …
Stuck in the Middle
A follower of this blog and a dear friend (more like a brother, but not the brother that borrows your power tools and never returns them or gives you nut punches, but the sensitive, artistic, loving bother that would do anything for you including lending you money, hint-hint if you are reading this “bro”) has agreed to let me use this picture of his finger in a blog post for the express purpose of merry mirth-making.
Covered with the giant novelty bandage, you would think that he severed his finger and it has been surgically reattached with the hope that he may be able to point directions to lost motorists sometime in the distant future again after years of physical therapy and pain dulling opioids that I wish he would share with me. However, the bottom line is …
Continue reading “Stuck in the Middle”
Burning vs Streaming
I listened to my oldest son’s podcast which is a review of some new music releases. He and his co-broadcaster reviewed the new Future Islands release, whoever or whatever Future Islands are. I liked what my son had to say. I asked my son to burn me some of that new music onto a CD or copy on a flash drive so I could take a listen. I was shocked at his reply.
Continue reading “Burning vs Streaming”
Everyone in the Trump Pool!
New office pool idea …
So far, Mike Flynn and Paul Manafort from Team Trump’s administration and campaign have retroactively registered as agents of foreign governments.
Gather your cube farm co-workers together and everyone gets to randomly select a current or former member of the Trump campaign or administration. Or make it even more fun and hold a Team Trump “draft” where your cube mates can select Team Trump members themselves. Winner is the one whose Team Trump selection next registers or is arrested as an agent of a foreign government. Since there will be many more identified as agents of foreign governments, there can be second and third places prizes, too. Not allowed is Donald Trump. We all know he is a current Russian agent.
(Tip: I’ve got all my money bet on Carter Page.)
Trump Sets Twitter Record
Donald Trump, who would like to be thought of as the best in the world in everything, has indeed claimed yet another world record with this actual tweet from today …
United Airlines Over a Barrel
BREAKING NEWS …
United Airlines is reacting to passengers fleeing the airline in the wake of the passenger-dragging incident by announcing that to make up for the expected loss of revenue, United Airlines has entered an agreement to carry barrel bombs for the Syrian government.
Random Thoughts on Sean Spicer’s Gas Problem and the Trump Administration
Trump’s Press Secretary Sean Spicer should leave the anti-Jewish comments to a professional Nazi like Steve Bannon.
The Holocaust Center of Pittsburgh wants to make it perfectly clear that it is definitely NOT one of the “Holocaust Centers” that Sean Spicer referred to that were used by the Nazis to gas Jews in World War 2.
Today is the first day of the Trump Administration where someone other than Trump himself said or tweeted the dumbest statement of the day.
Is there some way that we can get all members of the Trump Administration to fly United Airlines?
Trump Gorsuch Tweets Captioned
I watched the video embedded in Trump’s Gorsuch swearing-in tweet, and wondered if what they were really saying and thinking went something more like this …
Living on the Edge
My WordPress website domain is expiring. No, that’s not the good news. I hate to disappoint you (although I know I do almost every day with each blog post), but I intend to renew http://www.jimflanigan.com and continue writing this nonsense.
As we get closer to the date of my website domain expiring, I keep getting these pop-up notices from WordPress when I am working on my website …
Scouting out the Criminals
I was driving my 8 year old daughter to church when we saw a roadside clean-up crew in orange vests …
I used this opportunity as a parental teaching moment and suggested to my daughter that they may be criminals doing their community service as punishment for their crimes.
Except, they looked more like this …
Mite Be Funny #5
Family Tweet Time
Going Nuclear?
About the only good thing that happened yesterday is while Mitch McConnell moved the Senate forward with the “nuclear option” on the Gorsuch Supreme Court confirmation, Trump decided against the nuclear option in Syria … for now.
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is threatening to change Senate rules that require 60 votes for confirmation of a Supreme Court Justice to a simple majority confirmation, also know as the “nuclear option.”
Arizona Senator John McCain has publicly stated that anyone who wants to change that Senate rule is a stupid idiot.
Is there anyone who doesn’t think that Mitch McConnell is a stupid idiot?
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 