I have an overwhelming urge to either cut my hair very short or grow it very long. Either way, I think I’ll look ridiculous, although I also think it will be an improvement.
Tag: funny
Signs of the Time
Every 2 years, signs sprout up in our yard. The crop is good this year.
I couldn’t help but notice that I have unintentionally arranged the signs like a middle school dance – girls on one side and boys on the other. It’s certainly not a special shrine to Joe Biden like the one that I saw when I biked through our old neighborhood.
Continue reading “Signs of the Time”Mite Be Funny #188 – Giant Multi-Panel Might Not Be Funny Edition
Fired-up in 2020
2020 has been awful, so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to see this headline …
Hurricane Sally is battering the US’s southern coast, and appears to be bringing with it to shore floating islands of fire ants that look like this …
Continue reading “Fired-up in 2020”My Winter Weather Weight War
One week ago, I was on the brink of having lost 19 pounds toward my goal of 20. And then, the weather turned ugly along with my disposition. Unseasonably cooler temperatures moved in along with rain every single day of the week. Literally overnight, I gained 2 pounds. My body reacts to the cold by packing on winter weight, possibly so I can live off my blubber in case I am ever lost in the Arctic or Chicago in January. I’m not sure which is colder. I fought back by getting depressed and eating everything in sight. Turns out, that didn’t help. I gained another pound.
I could no longer get in a daily swim since the pool was overflowing with cold water. I could no longer get in a daily bike ride due to all the rain. I changed my tack and established an indoor routine of daily walking on the treadmill, elliptical work, and some interval training including crunches (not Nestle’s, although that would be my preference), push-ups, and light weight work.
Success! I’ve banished 1 of the 3 pounds I added. I was even able to get back in the pool yesterday as warmer temps have returned for a few days. We’ll see how sunny and warm these next couple days get as we are now experiencing a smoky haze from the west coast of the USA that is burning out of control. I always thought California would fall into the Pacific due to an earthquake. I never expected it would burn into oblivion.
The bottom line for me is that we are halfway through the month, and I still have 3 pounds to lose to reach 20. I am not confident, but I will try like hell to get there by the end of September. I know October will bring colder weather and that means a fatter, but not jollier, Jim.
Mite Be Funny #187 – Autumn Thoughts
Flies On Washington Walls #181 – Giant Multi-Panel Middle East Peace Edition
Flies On Washington Walls #180 – Giant Multi-Panel Panic Edition
Mite Be Funny #186 – Fantasy Football Draft Special Multi-Panel Edition
Go For 20!
Back when I started my career, I worked for a company that ran a “Go For 10!” promotion. They were a smaller company in their industry, and they wanted to push sales to get into the top 10. So, Go For 10! They failed. In fact, they may have fallen further down the ranks, and I was a part of it. Great story, right?
I’m running my own personal “Go For 20” promotion, but not to get into the top 20 of human beings. I don’t have a chance of getting there, especially when I publish a series of blog posts titled “Am I a Bad Guy?”
But I do have a chance to lose 20 pounds! I’m going for 20 pounds lost! By the end of August, I had officially lost 17 pounds of winter tubbiness and am currently trending toward 18 lost pounds of lard. How? COVID lead to underemployment which lead to less money which lead to me to walking and biking while contemplating my dilemma which lead me to notice things growing which lead me to eating those growing things. Here’s my harvest of European plums today …
They kind of look like sweet, juicy red seedless grapes. They’re not. NOT AT ALL. They taste nothing like grapes. They are edible but tart. I will eat them, but it’s not like there’s a chance I’m going to overeat. The real key to the weight loss has been in taking steps to better health, literally. Take a look at this pic.
Continue reading “Go For 20!”Free Food Top 10 List
Being underemployed this COVID season caused me to look more to the Earth for food.
No, I didn’t eat actual earth, but ate from the Earth. I foraged a lot this summer. I’m not sure why. Sure, we saved a few bucks on food, but I think I enjoyed most the discovery of new foods to forage from the land.
As I made my Top 10 list of foraged foods, I realized just how many foods I have picked, eaten, and hated this year. I’ve left those off the list like dandelions. Did you know that you could eat the dandelion flower? Did you know that you may want to spit it right out?
Along with my failed foraging attempts, I also didn’t include apples. I did forage some, but I went too late. The one apple tree in the woods was already spent except for a few small, mealy, gross ones. I used the non-gross parts of the few apples I foraged in some smoothies. My fault, so I don’t want to disparage the apple for my tardiness.
Let’s get started on the list with #10 …
Continue reading “Free Food Top 10 List”Mite Be Funny #185
Flies On Washington Walls #179
Mulch Ado About Nothing #10 – Summer Memories
Overcoming Adversity vs Giant Shit Show
At the Democratic National Convention last week, Joe Biden pulled out the stuttering handicap he overcame for all to see. Apparently, he helps and mentors stutterers he meets in his travels. A young stuttering teen named Brayden spoke on Biden’s behalf at the convention. Here’s the first meeting between Biden & Brayden.
No, I’m not crying. I think I have something in my eye that must have punctured my eyeball and is causing it to ooze.
That’s all well and good, but what about Trump’s handicap? No, not the textbook narcissism. He overcame bone spurs. BONE SPURS! They sound very boney and spurry. But he overcame them so well, that he can now do this …
Continue reading “Overcoming Adversity vs Giant Shit Show”Mite Be Funny #184
Reflections
I’m not saying that I continue to feel the need for significant social distancing due to the COVID-19 coronavirus, but I still get nervous if I get too close to a mirror.
Slow Down
I needed a break this morning. I have been cycling hard every morning to get in shape so I can deliver to my precinct via bike the Democratic voting guides once they get printed. Democratic leadership wanted to wait to print the guides until after Biden picked a VP. They really could have printed them months earlier. The ticket could have been Biden & ‘A Bit of Moss on the Side of a Tree in the Depths of a Forest’ and Democrats would still have voted for him. I do like the addition of Senator Kamala Harris as VP. Speaking of addition, I think Biden + Harris = 93. See what I did there?
Back to cycling, I felt I needed a day off. I decided to take a shorter, slower cycle to check on a blackberry patch that should have been just about spent. It was, although by slowing down I was able to spot a few stragglers that I picked for the freezer. It’s been a good berry-picking season.
I cycled a bit further and came upon a field of these beauties …
Continue reading “Slow Down”I was just wondering … when military personnel order tea, do they prefer cammomile tea?
Questioning Education & Conversation
Over the weekend, I drove almost 300 miles on Saturday to help my middle daughter move into college for her 5th year, also known as her super senior year. I have so many questions, but will limit it to these 3:
- Will my middle daughter ever really use her second major and second minor she plans to earn in this 5th super senior year?
- At my advanced age, why do I have a youngest daughter that is still 6 years away from even starting college?
- From a parent’s perspective, there is nothing super about a second senior year. Okay, so that is more of a declarative statement than a question.
The second question is the one that really bothers me. It points to a total lack of planning and judgment on my part. I fear I can never trust myself again, not that I ever could before.
Anyway, after I returned home, I planned to regale my wife with stories of how I got over 38 miles per gallon on the way there, but 6 mpg less on the way home. Imagine the possibilities as to why that happened! Wind direction, speed maintained, route taken, etc. Then I realized just how sad that sounded, so I spared my wife that conversation and decided to blog about it instead. It seems even sadder in writing.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 