Tag: clinical trial

How To Lose Credibility With Me

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

I had one very interesting day last week. I braved the alleged most dangerous city in the USA per Fox News, Trump, MAGA, and assorted other clowns to attend a trade show in Chicago. Yes, the same Chicago that recently hosted Lollapalooza with 110,000 people per day packed into Grant Park with ZERO casualties over the 4 festival days. No shootings. No overdoses. No heat-related deaths, and it was hot. The crowd for Chappell Roan was massive.

I wouldn’t be caught dead in a crowd like that, but nobody else was either, because Chicago is safe and a great place to visit or live. I felt safe visiting the trade show as well as a store named Woolly Mammoth where I attempted to sell my human skull.

No, not my own personal skull which I’m still using at times, but a skull I inherited from a former boss when he passed away. I liked it for a while, but then it started making me sad thinking about its original owner. The proprietor of Woolly Mammoth and I talked human skulls for a while, but we were unable to agree on a price. He wasn’t the one that lost credibility with me. He was quite credible and obviously knew his skulls. It was the guy who took my blood at the stop I made just before Woolly Mammoth.

Continue reading “How To Lose Credibility With Me” →

Cancer is Killing Me

~ Jim Flanigan

Financially, not literally. Sorry about the clickbait headline, but it’s for a good cause to get your attention to talk about cancer. We just had World Cancer Awareness Day on the 4th of February. I was certainly aware of my cancer when my dermatologist cut out a big chunk of my back fat to keep a melanoma from spreading where it shouldn’t spread. Get checked regularly for cancer.

That’s one reason I reluctantly agreed to finally get a colonoscopy recently. The other reason is that I could make some money in the process. I was accepted into a clinical trial for a blood sample test to replace colonoscopies. My colonoscopy would be free thanks to good insurance, while the clinical trial would line my pockets with a couple hundred bucks. And then I got the bill …

Continue reading “Cancer is Killing Me” →

I survived 2 Mageddons

~ Jim Flanigan

The past week was rough. First, we had Snowmageddon a week ago. I paid the price physically. Those 3 days of heavy snow and subsequent back-breaking snow removal were followed by 3 days of Coldmageddon. I paid the price mentally on those cold days. The 3 days of Coldmageddon were not the coldest Chicagoland has ever seen, but they were brutal, down to -16F/-26.7C overnight. Highs during the day were subzero F and around -18C. Cold enough that the train track fires had to be lit to keep the switches working.

And then we had a bit more snow and a bit more cold to finish out the week. We’re coming out of it now, and I look forward to days above freezing this next week.

I checked on fellow Chicagolanders to see how they were mentally coping with Coldmageddon. Here’s a Chicagoan who hit the beach.

I do love to swim, but that seemed a bit extreme to me. I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the pool. I settled for doing this each day …

Continue reading “I survived 2 Mageddons” →

An Ironic Pain in my Butt

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I am waaaaaay overdue for a colonoscopy. You could say I’m a bit behind.

I even have a dear friend who had colon cancer. You would think that’s enough incentive to get checked. Oh, sure, I pooped in a box and mailed it in. Then I found out that there are places that will actually check it for signs of colon cancer, so I changed where I had been mailing my poop. All clear for cancer. But that was a few years ago, and that test is supposedly not as effective as a colonoscopy.

Researchers have been working on a blood sample test as a replacement for a colonoscopy. I have some good news and bad news to share.

The good news is that I have been accepted into a clinical trial for the colorectal cancer blood sample screening test. Yay! They even will pay me a little cash every time they draw blood. Double yay!

But there is some bad news with an ironic twist. After they take my blood sample, then I have to get a standard colonoscopy that I was hoping to avoid. Irony is going to be a pain in my butt after all.

A Medical Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

On Monday, I went to my appointment for a clinical trial regarding meningitis. No, I don’t have meningitis. No, they aren’t giving me meningitis. No, I am not taking a drug for meningitis. They are taking my clean, healthy (2 words not usually associated with me) blood plasma for use in studying how to combat meningitis. You’re welcome, world. Actually, I don’t need your gratitude, because they’re paying me for my pristine blood plasma.

After taking my temperature (normal), blood pressure (122/68), and checking my hemoglobin (super high … is that good?), they asked me about any recent antibiotic use. Well, yes, during my bout with COVID. That disqualified me. I was miffed. Why didn’t they ask me about antibiotic use over the phone when they scheduled me? I was being sent home with all my blood plasma intact.

Then my disposition turned sunny again when I was told that I would still get paid! And I can go back in December to donate and get paid again. At that point, I knew what I need to do. I must get my hands on some antibiotics and take them right before my December visit, so I don’t have to actually donate my plasma but still get paid. Am I a bad guy?

I Survived the Heat Dome & Improved the World

~ Jim Flanigan

Make no mistake – the heat was bad. We tickled 100F/38C for the past two days coupled with humidity approaching triple digits. Did you know that the corn we grow in Illinois contributes to the high humidity?

Can’t we genetically engineer corn so it doesn’t evapotranspirate? That would make the world, or at least Illinois, a better place. Meanwhile, I did my best over the past few days of the heat dome to change the world and make it a better place.

I may have eradicated the deadly disease of meningitis, but first, and possibly just as important, I may have been responsible for the introduction of a new snack food.

Continue reading “I Survived the Heat Dome & Improved the World” →

Trial and Error

~ Jim Flanigan

I was notified that the clinical trial I am enrolled in for an RSV vaccine is ending on June 30th. I am saddened because that will be $80 a month less in my pocket. But I am proud to have participated in the trial which may have resulted in this …

I’m pretty sure I did not get the placebo, because I developed a golf ball size knot at the injection site that took a few weeks to dissipate. But I also did not get RSV, and now a vaccine will be available to all. Am I a hero? Sure, you can call me that, but I would prefer if you just send me $80 a month.

I don’t think I will be doing many more clinical trials in the future after seeing this one …

Continue reading “Trial and Error” →

Another Weird Day

~ Jim Flanigan

It was probably finding the dead body on the beach that really made Monday weird for me, but I’ll get to that later. Monday was a federal holiday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Interestingly, it was also a state holiday in Alabama and Mississippi to “honor” the traitor and Confederate General Robert E. Lee. They call it King-Lee Day in those states. It’s so nice that they link MLK with slavery.

Anyway, I decided that business would be lighter than a normal Monday, so I took most of the day off to address some clinical trial study business in Chicago. My first appointment was for, uh, well, I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember. Oddly enough, I went anyway. They seemed to know me when we spoke on the phone and confirmed the appointment. However, when I got there, it sure didn’t look familiar to me other than it was on Chicago’s beautiful Michigan Avenue. But still I continued unknowingly on to the appointment in a small, nondescript, sixth floor office. It wasn’t until I was sitting in an exam room that I realized what the study was for. I was grateful that it wasn’t for an experimental lobotomy. I read the release form and remembered I was there for an Alzheimer’s study.

I’m guessing I don’t have to point out the irony. I also wonder if I really qualify. You’ve read this blog. Can you really say that I don’t have a thinking problem?

In 3 months, I’ll know if they have identified certain tau proteins in my blood that may or may not indicate that I have a propensity toward Alzheimer’s. Or something like that, I forget.

I had some time before my next appointment, so I thought a winter walk on the beach would be a good idea. Boy, was I wrong. Sure, I enjoyed the walk – until I stumbled upon this dead body.

Continue reading “Another Weird Day” →

Me, Make Money? Fat Chance.

~ Jim Flanigan

The opportunity seemed to be well within my grasp. I could finally parlay my fat into cash. I just needed to be overweight and willing to lose weight. As you may know from prior posts, I am both.

There are two weight loss clinical trials that caught my eye. One was more local in downtown Chicago. I could easily take the train into Chicago and walk to the clinic, but I wouldn’t want to walk so fast that I would lose too much weight so that I would no longer be considered fat. I would have to leisurely stroll. It paid okay, but the real payday was at a research clinic a couple hours north in Madison, Wisconsin. Their weight loss clinical trial is paying $18,000+ for participation in their 6 month trial which includes some overnight stays with meals provided. Yes, it would include several all-expense-paid vacations for me.

But there is a problem …

Continue reading “Me, Make Money? Fat Chance.” →

Yesterday Was a Weird Day

~ Jim Flanigan

I started yesterday with a Wordle that I swore I had solved in 2 … then 3 … then 4 … then 5 … then 6 … then nope.

Was I becoming cognitively impaired, or was it just bad luck guessing? Any regular reader of this blog will choose the former. I even harbored thoughts of it as I got word that yet another of my cousins who is my age now is showing signs of dementia. But I chalked it up to bad luck guessing and got ready to continue my career in the cinema.

No, I wasn’t hired as an usher at the local Megaplex. I had a paying gig as a film extra playing a funeralgoer at Graceland Cemetery. Not Elvis’s final resting place in Graceland in Tennessee as I had originally thought, but Graceland Cemetery in Chicago.

Traffic was light and I made it to the Chicago cemetery faster than Google said I would. I parked and had a distance to walk to the chapel where the filming would take place. That’s when I hitchhiked for the first time in my life.

Continue reading “Yesterday Was a Weird Day” →

Jugs of Urine

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

No, Jugs of Urine is not a new exercise craze like Buns of Steel was many years ago.

No, jugs of urine is what I get paid money for. Yes, people pay for my pee-pee. Why?

Continue reading “Jugs of Urine” →

I Got Vaccinated, or Did I?

~ Jim Flanigan

I really don’t know for sure. Not for COVID, silly readers. I’m twice vaxxed and boosted against COVID. I just got vaccinated against RSV (click HERE for more info on RSV), which stands for Respiratory SomethingIcannotspell Virus. Or, did I get vaccinated? I really don’t know. I’ll explain.

Continue reading “I Got Vaccinated, or Did I?” →