As I gave myself a haircut before I went on a very short business trip this week, I found myself incredibly grateful that I don’t have much hair to cut. Over the holidays, I was at a party listening to hirsute-headed friends talking about paying $90 and $125 to have their magnificent locks of hair cut. What could possibly be included with a $125 “haircut?” Maybe where they burn the hair off rather than cutting?

Well, whatever it includes, I’m sure it doesn’t include me. I’m feeling incredibly grateful that I can cut the remaining hair I have myself, because if I had a full head of hair, I would not be able to afford one of them $125 haircuts.
Maybe I could try a Flowbee …

I’m afraid that it might not be as easy as the promo video shows.

I could always try the bowl cut.


Why, yes I am! Let’s see the result.

Uh, no thanks. And so, it is with hairtfelt (see what I did there?) gratitude that I give thanks for my follicular depletion as I finally realize that I simply can no longer afford hair. Unless, of course, you buy my award-winning book.