Happy Festivus

That’s right, Google tells me that today is the holiday of Festivus.

And you know what that means, right?

Well, hold on, can we take care of another Festivus tradition first?

That’s right, the airing of grievances. I’ve got a lot of complaints to air, mostly about the unvaccinated these days, although I find I can and usually do complain about most everything. However, I’ll reserve this blog for my wife’s Christmas grievance.

We have a fancy, schmancy old hotel in town called the Hotel Baker. It’s very nice and was even used for the wedding of local celebrity model and prominent anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy to Donnie Wahlberg from that boy band. Hmm, what’s the group’s name?

Wrong boy band, Milhouse. Anyway, the Hotel Baker is beautiful inside with a lighted dance floor and an outdoor patio overlooking the Fox River. Great place for a wedding. Use my name when reserving space. I work on commission.

My wife doesn’t complain much, at least to me, but perhaps about me to others, with good reason. However, she did air a grievance about the Hotel Baker this Christmas season. Here’s the reason.

Beautiful, whimsical, but tasteful, right? Note the tight security of light cord used to keep the two reindeer from being stolen. It’s a pretty rough town.

So, what could my wife’s grievance possibly be? Turns out that two reindeer are fine, but two Rudolphs with two red noses? Not fine. Apparently, there is only supposed to be one Rudolph. I had to wrestle her to the ground to keep her from taking a black magic marker to one of the reindeer’s noses, which was actually sort of fun. I’m not sure she won’t still do it. In fact, she’s been gone most of the day. If she does it and gets away with it, there’s only one thing we can say.

And that ends her grievances. As for me, I have yet to begin. Maybe I’ll wait for Christmas Eve when we visit family and my audience gets larger. I mean, where are they going to go to escape, outside? It’s cold out! And so begin my grievances.

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