The Match Game

I got dressed in the dark over the weekend, and I noticed that I was wearing mismatched socks. I know that’s sort of a fashion trend for kids these days. My 13 year old daughter left for school this morning with different color socks, but for an old man like me, it’s kind of a big fashion faux pas deal. I remember being at a trade show and realizing in horror that I was wearing one sock reminiscent of a Richard Nixon brown suit paired with one in a Ronald Reagan brown suit hue. I pulled my pants down low to cover my mismatched socks and spent the day going around the trade show like this.

Nobody should have to see that. And when an old man does that, mistakes can happen.

But this past weekend, I decided to be bold and wild. I decided to wear my mismatched socks, even going to church in them. And when in a church discussion group, I crossed my legs so all could gaze upon my trendy mismatched socks. The result?

That’s right, not a word. No “Cool socks” or “Tres chic” or even “Freakin’ idiot” like normal. Nothing. I don’t get it. I thought I was making a bold personal fashion statement. I thought I was telling the world (or at least my church discussion group) that I was cool and hip. Maybe it was too extreme and too bold for people. Maybe they purposely averted their eyes and tried to unsee my cloth-covered ankles.

Regardless, the result was a whole lot of nothing. Maybe I should let you be the judge. What do you think? Hip and funky fashion statement or too over-the-top?

Maybe I should stick to mixing metaphors in my writing rather than socks. What does match well is side-splitting humor and contemplative thought in my award-winning book of short stories. Click this link to buy it for under a buck!


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