Lollapalooza Coolness Test

Lollapalooza returns to Chicago in 2021 after being Covid-cancelled in 2020. The line-up for the 3 day music festival has been released. I heard on my transistor radio that you can tell how cool you are by how many rows down the Lolla poster you can recognize acts.

Editor’s Note: The mere fact that this idiot is listening to a transistor radio negates any potential coolness gained by knowing music performers.

Hey, you pompous ass, what am I supposed to do? I suppose you want me to listen to the radio on my phone.

Editor’s Note: YES!

On my new flip phone?

Editor’s Note: Ugh, never mind.

As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the word I hear is that you can consider yourself moderately musically cool if you are familiar with music acts in at least the top 7 rows of the Lolla poster. Let’s take a closer look at those first 7 rows. I have identified the acts I know with red boxes around them.

Not too bad for an old fart. The top line has some very recognizable names. I quite like the Foo Fighters.

I was puzzled to see Journey (without lead singer Steve Perry) in the second row. Why are they invited to a major music festival and not the local county fair?

The third line reveals a band I have even seen in concert … Modest Mouse. I didn’t like them live, but I do like their recorded music.

I drew a blank on row four, but totally rocked on the fifth row. I’ve even featured Brittany Howard & Dermot Kennedy music on my wildly unpopular blog feature New Music For Old Rockers. I was going to provide links, but kinda lazy.

The sixth row offers Mt. Joy, a band I saw in concert and really enjoyed.

The seventh row shows Whitney, a band I planned to see in concert when they came to town but didn’t.

Editor’s Note: Hey, great Whitney story. Why don’t you expand that into one of your “amusing” short stories?

I’m going to be a bigger person and ignore that. Now, let’s take a look past row seven and see who we recognize.

Not too many for me, but I very much like both bands identified on row ten. I believe I featured their music on New Music For Old Rockers, but again, too damn lazy to offer links.

A performer I wanted to feature on my recent NMFOR Michigan Edition (hey, a link!) is Michigander. However, I didn’t really love any of his songs on his latest EP. They were good but didn’t grab me like this one from 2018 does.

I’m going to declare unequivocally that I passed the Lolla coolness test … barely. I’m placing myself on double secret probation and will try to be a cooler musical old fart. First step will be to NOT go to the very popular Lollapalooza, but to one of the more obscure Chicago music festivals. The Riot Fest line-up has caught my eye.

If the Pixies and Devo are playing the same day, I will be there on that day. Stay tuned, and I’ll leave you with some Pixies to finish up this post with a catchy tune and a killer bass line.


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