Things to do in the Dead of Winter

It was cold and snowy yesterday. We’ll be hovering around 0F/-18C for the next couple of days, and we received a couple more inches of snow yesterday in this bitter cold. So, I went looking for things to do after I got rid of a car full of diapers.

No, they were not for me … yet. They were for a food, diaper, and feminine hygiene products drive that I participated in today. I wish someone could tell me why there are never masculine hygiene products donated. Seems sexist, but what do I know? Don’t answer that. Anyway, here are some things I found to consider doing on cold and snowy days this weekend.

Find Your Cock

Get your mind out of the gutter. Maybe this will explain it a bit more …

I wish I could say that this happens only in Alabama. Sadly, there are probably 30 more states where something like this routinely happens. Click HERE to link to the full story. A quick recap for those of you that think reading anything from a website about Alabama will make you dumber – a chicken tied to a truck at a Cracker Barrel restaurant escapes and is found.

Roll the Film

I know, I know. We’re just about all movied out with this pandemic. But Nick Cage in a tongue-in-cheek slasher B movie with evil animatronic characters looks like just what the doctor ordered.

Start a Business

Haven’t you ever wanted to be your own boss? How about starting a business? Did you know there is a caviar shortage? The top sturgeon expert in Wisconsin did. That’s why he seized the opportunity to start his own business and helped himself to some sturgeon eggs. Click HERE to link to the full story.

As a small business owner, he was right to try and reduce his product cost, but stealing product is a bad idea. In fact, it smells downright fishy.

The better path to get into the caviar business is to spear your own sturgeon. Did you know that was even a thing? Well, all you need is a shanty to start.

That looks nice. Then, just dig a hole through the ice that you want to peer into hour upon hour.

So far, it looks fun! Then bring your spouse and catch one sturgeon every 7 years.

That’s why I’m not in the sturgeon spearing business. First, there’s no way my wife joins me to sit in any shanty other than our own house. And I did the math. 50 years divided by 7 fish = 1 fish every 7 years from which to harvest potential caviar. That’s a bad business model to use. Maybe that Wisconsin sturgeon expert had the right idea hatching that egg-stealing scheme after all.

Make a Splash

Chicagoan Dan O’Connor (@TheRealDtox) has been making a splash in Lake Michigan ever day since June.

What started as an innocent idea in June is now a daily crazy winter stunt that is fund-raising for good causes.

But you may be saying, “I don’t know any good causes.” Well, in that case, we are still looking for more food, diapers, and feminine hygiene products. See how I brought this post back around full circle? Donate via Amazon for delivery this next week using this LINK.

So, there are 4 ideas for you of things to do in the depths of winter:

  • Lose a pet and then find it.
  • Watch a bad movie.
  • Start your own business.
  • Do something for a good cause.

Oops, I almost forgot one … read my book. And you thought you would escape this post of semi-humorous stories without a gratuitous book plug. Silly.