Mothers are the dressing on the salad of life: tangy, zesty and absolutely necessary to enjoy the salad. In case you are wondering, Dads are the croutons: crusty, kinda’ squarish, a bit stale, and more often than not, smelling like onions or garlic. The kids are the bits of salad that get stuck between your teeth that you can’t get out and drive you insane trying.
I saw these cards as I was shopping for my wife’s Mother’s Day card …
We do have a cat that comes around our house that I consider my own, and we have two dogs. Regardless, I bought neither card. I noticed that the store had zero cards from fish which is probably good on this Mother’s Day. You may recall from my recent blog post that we lost 3 of 7 of our pond fish to a large bird. The day before Mother’s Day, the all important Mother’s Day Eve, saw the return of the large bird that finished off the remaining 4 fish. I saw it leaving the scene of the crime and swear I even heard a burp. The pond is now barren, with the scent of death engorging our nostrils as my wife and I sat around the pond with the kids today. I am happy the store did not have any ‘mother from fish’ cards. It would have broken her heart and broken my bank account. Those cards are expensive. Would I have to buy four cards, one from each fish, or one card from all fish? Those words that are the same whether singular or plural are tricky.
I don’t think we should go to any more Sunday buffet brunches for Mother’s Day. It was nice, but we are just not getting our money’s worth anymore. I overate, and still didn’t come close to the amount of food that I used to pack away. My wife ate lightly. My oldest daughter wasn’t hungry because she ate a big breakfast despite knowing she was heading to an all-you-can-eat buffet at 11:30AM. My oldest son ate one plate and didn’t even have dessert. My youngest daughter eats nothing … ever. My middle daughter did her best to get my money’s worth, but she’s only 5’3″. My youngest son, who learned how to really pack it away as a college football player trying to add weight, was working and could not be with us. The only saving grace was I noticed later that the restaurant charged my middle daughter the 12 and under rate, and she’ll be 21 this August.
I was thrilled to see that the new episode of Bob’s Burgers featured a Mother’s Day theme on Mother’s Day. That doesn’t happen a lot. The episode featured taxidermy, squirrel blood and of course, mothers. My wife and I enjoyed it.
My wife finished her Mother’s Day evening by packing for her and our youngest daughter to spend three days at a school camp in Wisconsin where my wife will be a chaperone for fourth graders. Thunderstorms are predicted for all three days. She doesn’t really want to go, but she is a great mother. Unfortunately, I don’t think this was as great a Mother’s Day as she is a mother.