I enjoy our backyard pond. I dug it myself. While digging, I could have gone in a couple directions which I explained in this blog post. I have shed blood over this pond, and lost my boyish good lucks in the process. Despite the macabre aura of blood and death surrounding this pond, it was my quiet place, until my pond was literally visited by blood and death last night. Now it will have to be my quiet place of blood and death.

Hey, this is kind of an upbeat blog post to start the day on a positive note. My day started seeing big rocks pushed into the pond and no fish swimming around, basically because they were hiding and terrified. Roll call was taken and 4 of the 7 fish remain. Our largest fish with about a 6 inch long body and another 3 to 4 inches of magnificent tail fin had survived a similar assault several years ago. Not this time. That may be for the best as I eat a lot of fish, and well, this one was getting fairly large and appeared to be potentially delicious. The only solace I can take from this loss is that the 3 fish lost were advertised as feeder fish when we purchased them for 19 cents each, and they ended up fulfilling their destiny.

We suspect the missing fish ended up as raccoon food. The last pond decimation several years ago was at the hands (beak?) of a heron. Large rocks being moved this time makes me think raccoon. My wife tells me raccoons are strong. How does she know? Well, for a time her family had a pet raccoon while growing up. Now there’s a post for another day. Anyway, raccoons have left eviscerated fish remains (bad name for a band) around our pond at past crime scenes. Herons tend to swallow the fish whole, and it was a clean murder scene this time, so who knows? Of course there’s also the Mike Pence Fish Rapture Theory to consider … or not.

Remember my fish with the tumor? Of course you don’t. Nobody has reached out to me to ask about when the surgery is scheduled or how I’m going to pay for the subsequent 6 months of chemotherapy. I’m not saying it would have been convenient if the tumor fish had been one that was eaten, but I’m also not saying it would have been inconvenient. Regardless, the tumor fish was not eaten. I guess I can’t blame the raccoon/heron. Would you eat a fish with a tumor?

So where do we go from here? First, to my loose change tray in my car. Then, off to the pet store for more 19 cent feeder fish that are willing to eventually fulfill their destiny.

UPDATE: Minutes before publication, the crime scene was visited by a huge ass heron/crane/monster bird. It had to be 5 feet tall. I made the mistake of mentioning it to my daughter who immediately leapt to her feet and ran to the window, successfully scaring it away as I reached for my phone to take a pic. If I hadn’t mentioned it to her, it could have stood beside her and pecked at her head and she would not have noticed with her face buried into her tablet.

So while the raccoon has been exonerated for the recent slaughter, there is no way I was going to remove the raccoon references from this post. There’s a reason the raccoon wears a mask and cannot be trusted.

raccoon stealing





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