Stop Burp-Shaming Me

There is no denying that I am constantly filled with gas. I often wonder why I weigh so much when I am filled with hot gas. I should be floating off into the ether. Look for me tethered to the ground at the next Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. Anyway, it has to go somewhere.

So I burp … a lot. That is normally not a problem when I am in the comfort of my own home.

In public, that is a different story. I do my best not to burp in public. When I feel one coming on, I keep my mouth shut and stifle the burp as best I can. Sure, there may be a small sound, but not close to the sound emitted had I opened my mouth and loosed a fetid blast upon the world. But I still see people giving me the ole’ stink-eye.

Look people, I’m making an effort here. I’m swallowing down burps to be polite. I expect you to make some effort, like pretending I didn’t just swallow a burp. So stop with the burp-shaming already.

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