Tag: penis

Hard-ly a Vegetable

~ Jim Flanigan

Yep, I grew this carrot in our vegetable garden this summer.

No, it wasn’t hard. I didn’t have to stimulate its growth at all. It faced some stiff challenges in May & June with very poor weather, but I believe it was inured and hardened by the experience. You may think I’m making a big deal out of this and stroking my ego, but it’s not like I want to erect a monument to it. I’m just rigid in my belief that it is quite an accomplishment.

Alright, that’s all for now. I have to return to my grade school playground to make poopie jokes about the teacher.

You Are What You See

~ Jim Flanigan

I think the people who see penises everywhere may be looking too hard and long (pun intended) for them.

Blog title proven.

A Lovely Holiday Game

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Let’s play a game. Take a look at the table below.

Things Stuck in Body Orifices in 2021 per the Consumer Product Safety Commission

Body orificeitem stuck in orifice
EarSpork (Combination of Spoon & Fork)
NoseTwo Batteries
ThroatBilliard Ball
PenisChopstick
VaginaHello Kitty
RectumRubber Snake

This comes from an article in The Defector which offers a complete list aggregated from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission reports about emergency room procedures. But don’t link to it yet!!! We have to play the game first. The body orifices and items shown above are not matched correctly. Your job is to match them up properly. The answer follows if you continue reading.

Continue reading “A Lovely Holiday Game” →

Keep It In Your Junk Drawers

~ Jim Flanigan

More and more women are coming forward with allegations of sexual harassment against celebrities, politicians and others. Bravo. I’ve been appalled hearing accounts from the female accusers of brazen sexual impropriety and outright assaults in some cases. A common theme in their stories is lots of pants-dropping by men. Here’s what I want to know …

Continue reading “Keep It In Your Junk Drawers” →