My Artsy-Fartsy Weekend

I like the arts, but I’m definitely no patron of the arts. More of a patron of the farts than anything. Claude Monet is my favorite artist, but when it comes right down to it, I may not be able to tell a Monet from a Manet from “Mony Mony.” However, I found myself at an art exhibit Friday night where a neighbor had a painting exhibited. That’s me on the right looking almost lifelike.

Besides my neighbor’s painting, there were other works of art I also liked. Here’s one I think I remember seeing in the movie Beetlejuice.

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I Get Her Point

Do you remember when I wrote 3 short complementary pieces for an art exhibition? There was a free verse poem, a sad mini story, and a funny mini story about peaches. Oh, what’s that you say? You were trying to forget? Well, not so fast as I have another peach story with which to regale you. But don’t worry. It’s not from me but from a sixth grader.

Last night, artists and authors gathered at an area public library to reflect on the art exhibited and read some of the writings. It’s one thing to see a small digital version of the painting on my screen. It’s a completely different experience to see these large oil paintings up close. I should probably visit the Art Institute in Chicago more often.

I am happy to report that my peaches story got some chuckles. However, my sad story did not elicit any tears, and my free verse poem didn’t coax one finger snap from the audience.

Wait, was I supposed to lead the finger snapping while at the mic? Seems presumptuous of me to snap at my own creation.

Anyway, enough about me. You are here to read a sixth grader’s story about peaches that is written better than this blog most days, although admittedly that is a low bar. I should warn you that this youth’s peaches story is a bit disturbing, so exercise caution (and maybe do a few sit-ups while you’re at it) before clicking through.

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Jim Continues His Written Assault on Skokie, IL

I already blogged about a free verse poem I wrote to support an art exhibit at the Skokie Public Library starting next month. Well, you can slap my ass and call me a patron of the arts, because I contributed another written piece. This time, it is a very silly micro story about this still life painting of peaches.

Much to my surprise, these still life paintings apparently are not just about fruit but about very serious themes in life. Listen to the artist here …

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About the Artist

Isn’t the featured image on this blog post a beautiful picture? It spoke to me. It spoke to me and said that it had to be my cover pic for my book of short stories called Beyond: Tales of the Afterlife. However, it also told me that I was too fat, so I didn’t speak to it for a while. But we finally sorted out our differences, and I just knew that it had to be the cover for my book. The biggest hurdle was that I was not the artist and didn’t really know the artist and live nowhere close to the artist and well, you get the idea. It was a longshot. The lesson learned is that sometimes asking is the hardest part. The artist said, “Yes.” She also was cool with me stretching the aspect ratio of her painting to fit better as the cover pic I finally used.

The artist’s name is Linda and here’s her online studio … My personal favorites are her abstracts and florals. Here’s an example of one of them she created just the other night …

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Well, this is a complete waste …

Surprisingly, that title does not refer to this blog, although one can make a convincing case. No, I’m writing about this creation from my wife.


I like it. She painted this spoon holder and placed it on the counter next to the stove for immediate use by the family. I can’t bring myself to use it. I would consider placing a goopy, drippy spoon that I use to stir my winter stew concoctions on what I view as a work of art created by my wife to be a desecration. You don’t see people intentionally destroying art, do you?

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