We got this pearl of wisdom (among others) from His Orangeness this morning …
New Math
Category: humor
Sad!
From today …
I don’t have any jokes about this. I do think it is important to see the sad ravings of this pathetic excuse for a man.
In addition to Trump’s desperate tweets, Jared Kushner’s business dealings (money laundering) are now under investigation, and Mike Pence has lawyered up, so it was a decent day overall.
Don’t Seek The Music; Be The Music
Let me just start out by saying that the title of this blog makes no sense except that this post is about music and my quest to become one with music. You will only find out at the very end if I reached that lofty goal. I workshopped many alternate blog post titles, and they all sucked as much as this one, so what’s the point of even trying? It’s good enough (maybe too good?) for the likes of us.
Moving on, this is my longest blog post ever, and perhaps the longest ever in the history of blogging. I have no interest in checking, so let’s just take my vague hunch as gospel truth that this is a record-setting post. It is chock full of nonsensical words in a seemingly random order that would rival a Sean Spicer press conference, links to older posts (in a pathetic attempt to increase views), pictures, animated gifs and video links. If you are not up for a herculean, visually-stimulating blog post, bail out now. Warning, do not click the “Continue reading.”
Mite Be Funny #14
And with a late round pick in the Kremlingate legal draft, Robert Mueller selects …
Kremlingate Special Counsel Robert Mueller just hired Michael Dreeben to join his investigative team, although his addition may signal the team turning from investigative to more prosecutorial now.
From the Washington Post, “Michael is the most brilliant and most knowledgeable federal criminal lawyer in America — period,” said Walter Dellinger, a law professor at Duke University School of Law and acting solicitor general for the 1996-1997 term of the Supreme Court.
Donald Trump, “Uh-oh.”
The WaPo continues, “Dreeben is 1 of the top legal & appellate minds at DOJ in modern times,” former Manhattan U.S. attorney Preet Bharara tweeted after learning of Mueller’s recruitment of Dreeben.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump has this guy in his corner …
Welcome Back
I was sooooooooooooooo disappointed with the James Comey testimony yesterday at the Senate Committee hearing. Where was the Donald Trump live tweeting that was floated as a possibility? It was almost 48 hours between tweets for Trump and none live when Comey was testifying. And now, this is the first tweet we get as we welcome Trump back to the twitterverse …
Based on that twisted tweet, it appears that Trump may have asked Senator John McCain to explain to him about what actually went on at the Comey Senate Committee hearing. I’m just surprised that he didn’t mention Crooked Hillary and call to Lock Her Up.
Happy James Comey Day!
The long-awaited day is finally here, along with news that Melania and Barron Trump will be moving into the White House on June 14th. This is really odd news considering that James Comey’s testimony before the Senate Committee today all but guarantees that Donald Trump will be moving out of the White House soon. Upon reflection, maybe that’s why she’s moving in.
Continue reading “Happy James Comey Day!”
What, No Spoiler Alert?
Wary of Wray
When the opening acts are as good or better than the headliner …
Happy James Comey Day Eve. All of us are anxiously awaiting the big show tomorrow as James Comey is scheduled to testify in front of the Senate Intelligence Committee. That will indeed be a notable event in history as the gears of justice slowly grind together to remove traitors from elected and appointed positions in the government of the USA.
But do not overlook the opening acts … the under-card … the appetizers … the foreplay … the preface in a book … the reading of Miranda Rights before an arrest … the clouds before a storm … the feeling of bloat before a belch … the shrinking of genitals before a cold swim … the cramming before a test … the drugging before a date with Bill Cosby …
Continue reading “When the opening acts are as good or better than the headliner …”
Zero Tweets About Zero
Happy James Comey Week, I Hope
As former FBI Director James Comey’s Senate testimony looms, I feel like a kid the week before Christmas who is expecting a new bike under the tree on Christmas morning. I just have to get that new bike. Right now I feel like I’m riding a girl’s coaster bike with a hot pink seat. James Comey’s testimony on Thursday will be that cool new BMX bike waiting for me on Christmas morning. However, all the time running through the back of my mind is the fear that rather than the BMX bike, I’ll get clothes, heavy on the underwear.
Make America Ninja Again
Mite Be Funny #13
Grim Reality Sets In
A History of the Word “Gubernatorial”
Where I live in Illinois, the race for Governor in 2018 is starting to heat up which typically means more politicians will be going to jail. A couple of months back, I saw Democratic candidate for Governor Chris Kennedy speak, and while blogging about it, pondered why gubernatorial is used rather than governal. There is fascinating history behind the word “gubernatorial” which I am happy to share with you in this essay.
The origins of the word “gubernatorial” can be traced back to the pre-Civil War Deep South. Back in those days (and still today in some southern states), educated people were mocked and ridiculed. Those literate types running for public office like governor were regularly called derogatory names. One of the most popular derogatory name thrown at candidates was “goober.”
At southern political rallies in the early 1800’s, one could always hear taunts of “hey you goober!” directed at the candidates. Southerners are not known for being long-winded, and as the 1800’s drew close to the mid-point, the “you” in “hey you goober” was combined with the “goober” part to create a single word taunt of “guber!”
Phuc – Trump (meeting, of course)
No Sugar With My Covfefe
Finally, finally, finally, we get an honest-to-God real tweet from Donald Trump that actually makes the most sense of any tweet he has ever sent …
I can’t argue with him or parody this in any way. I agree 100%.
Where’s Donald?
I was pleased to see that the fate of the Free World is in the good hands of Angela Merkel of Germany and Emmanuel Macron of France, seen here walking & talking together as they walked through the streets of Sicily at the G7 Summit.
But where’s Donald Trump?
Continue reading “Where’s Donald?”
Melancholy Melania
Melania Trump has grown even more despondent after returning from her international trip with Donald Trump.
Sources tell us that the depressive trigger on the trip was when Melania Trump had an opportunity to meet Brigitte Macron, wife of French President Emmanuel Macron.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 