The Tooth Hurts

I was scheduled for a routine tooth cleaning the other day which I despise more than a US Presidential campaign. It’s not that I dislike the concept of clean teeth, but just that I find the path to that goal somewhat unpleasant. My dentist uses a high-pressure water jet to clean teeth, rather than the old pick & ax technique. Don’t they use high-pressure water jets to cut metal?


Hmmm, that’s what I was afraid of. But my teeth are as strong as steel, aren’t they? Aren’t they? Someone?

What I really hate is when the water jet hits my gums. I think that could be bad for soft tissue.


Gulp! Thankfully, I visited the dentist with a good reason why my teeth could not be cleaned that day. I had a toothache! Good news, sort of if you have a twisted, illogical mind as I do. My problem is actually just an extreme sensitivity to cold on one tooth. So they took an x-ray of the offending toothal area, and we looked at it on the screen. No damage to any tooth shown. I do think I caught a glimpse of her writing “wimp” on my chart. Then the dentist takes out her hammer and starts whacking each tooth in the area. Say, haven’t I seen that in a Three Stooges movie before?



Just as I thought, a wise guy for a dentist. Why I oughta’ …

Anyway, as the hammer dinged every tooth, I kept waiting for the dull clunk signifying the rotten one. Nothing. No pain either as she xylophoned my choppers. Her diagnosis? Sinus infection and she prescribed an antibiotic.



She explained that dentists can prescribe any medicine just as medical doctors do. I immediately began to describe the constant, throbbing pain that I was experiencing. She had obviously seen my game before and instantly began chanting the “ibuprofen” mantra over and over, drowning out my pathetic pleading for Vicodin.

I got the prescription for the antibiotic from her and could not help noticing her name.


Pinky? I am not sure if I want a dentist named Pinky working with dangerous instruments in my mouth, especially a dentist that will not prescribe powerful narcotics for me.

Even with a dentist named Pinky and walking away without happy pills, I consider my visit to the dentist a huge success. I was able to avoid a teeth cleaning.

Bye for now and keep smiling …







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