The Tooth Hurts

I was scheduled for a routine tooth cleaning the other day which I despise more than a US Presidential campaign. It’s not that I dislike the concept of clean teeth, but just that I find the path to that goal somewhat unpleasant. My dentist uses a high-pressure water jet to clean teeth, rather than the old pick & ax technique. Don’t they use high-pressure water jets to cut metal?

water-jet-cutting-steel-o

Hmmm, that’s what I was afraid of. But my teeth are as strong as steel, aren’t they? Aren’t they? Someone?

What I really hate is when the water jet hits my gums. I think that could be bad for soft tissue.

water-jet-apple

Gulp! Thankfully, I visited the dentist with a good reason why my teeth could not be cleaned that day. I had a toothache! Good news, sort of if you have a twisted, illogical mind as I do. My problem is actually just an extreme sensitivity to cold on one tooth. So they took an x-ray of the offending toothal area, and we looked at it on the screen. No damage to any tooth shown. I do think I caught a glimpse of her writing “wimp” on my chart. Then the dentist takes out her hammer and starts whacking each tooth in the area. Say, haven’t I seen that in a Three Stooges movie before?

stooges-dentist-iloveimg-cropped-1

 

Just as I thought, a wise guy for a dentist. Why I oughta’ …

Anyway, as the hammer dinged every tooth, I kept waiting for the dull clunk signifying the rotten one. Nothing. No pain either as she xylophoned my choppers. Her diagnosis? Sinus infection and she prescribed an antibiotic.

what-caption

 

She explained that dentists can prescribe any medicine just as medical doctors do. I immediately began to describe the constant, throbbing pain that I was experiencing. She had obviously seen my game before and instantly began chanting the “ibuprofen” mantra over and over, drowning out my pathetic pleading for Vicodin.

I got the prescription for the antibiotic from her and could not help noticing her name.

pinky

Pinky? I am not sure if I want a dentist named Pinky working with dangerous instruments in my mouth, especially a dentist that will not prescribe powerful narcotics for me.

Even with a dentist named Pinky and walking away without happy pills, I consider my visit to the dentist a huge success. I was able to avoid a teeth cleaning.

Bye for now and keep smiling …

teeth-dirty

 

 

 

 

 

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