Wool You Buy This For Me?

I had a family wedding to attend recently. It is summer, so that normally means I dust off one of my hideous summer sport coats that are all older than Obama’s presidency. My wife  openly wept at the thought, rending her garments in two (great, new clothes for her), begging me to <visible shudder> buy new clothes. Well, that was not going to happen, until I made a tactical error.

The groom asked me to do a reading at the ceremony. I was honored to be asked, but puzzled. There is an evangelical side to our family, and in their eyes, me doing a reading in a church may be tantamount to Lucifer doing a tap dance on the Good Book. But I was asked, and knowing that my doing a reading may tweak the evangelicals and also give me an opportunity to do a mic drop, I was thrilled to accept the invitation to offer my oratorical skills to the ceremony.

Then reality set it. I would be speaking in front of 200 or so people. I have no problem with that, but I would be more comfortable doing so if I knew I look good. Sure, I could grab one of my funeral sport coats to go more conservative, but those have seen a lot of deaths over the decades that they have hung in my closet, always ready to help direct yet another family member/friend/acquaintance/enemy towards the light. And is it good karma to wear a jacket to a wedding that was also worn as a pall bearer? Now is an appropriate time to make the easy joke analogies about getting married and dying. Go ahead, I teed it up for you. Knock one down the fairway.

The bottom line is that I went shopping, took my time, and bought some real nice clothes at some incredible prices that I would have been comfortable paying 30 years ago. That’s really the key to get me to buy anything. If the price is at a 1980’s level, I’m ready to buy. 2 sport coats, 2 pairs of dress slacks, 1 dress shirt and 1 tie for $180. Winner! In addition, I got to play the coupon game. I dutifully dragged a page full of coupons to the store for this special sales event that was followed the next weekend by a similar special sales event. Even with my reading glasses on, the small print was so small and confusing that I wasn’t sure if any of the coupons were applicable. But what the heck, I thrust the page hopefully at the cashier. This was a higher-end store where employees actually treat customers with a modicum of respect, so the cashier was mandated by store law to cheerfully scan each coupon. Coupon #1? No deal. Coupon #2? Rejected. Coupon #3? No dice. And what’s behind coupon #4? Winner! Another 20 bucks off the already ridiculously low price. In hindsight, I probably didn’t need to dab, but it was another 20 bucks off.

At this point I am rapidly approaching the 500 word point (here!) in what was originally conceptualized as a quick sight gag blog post. I’ve taken blog foreplay to the level of fiveplay. Before we reach sixplay, I had best get to the climax of this post before all readers are in the bathroom brushing their teeth. Get ready. Strap yourself in. Here it comes.

The original price on the jackets I purchased was $325. Of course, I paid nothing close to that. I noticed this label in the jacket I wore …

WoolFirst, I am so glad that it is 100% Super Fine. It certainly made me feel that way. However, I was surprised that a $325 jacket would be made from worsted wool. I wonder what the price would be if it had been made with bested wool?

I know that you are thinking, “Gee, that was a long way to travel to get a 49 cent ice cream cone at McDonalds.” It’s all about the journey.

2 thoughts on “Wool You Buy This For Me?

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