Let’s play a game. Take a look at the table below.

Things Stuck in Body Orifices in 2021 per the Consumer Product Safety Commission

Body orifice	item stuck in orifice
Ear	Spork (Combination of Spoon & Fork)
Nose	Two Batteries
Throat	Billiard Ball
Penis	Chopstick
Vagina	Hello Kitty
Rectum	Rubber Snake

This comes from an article in The Defector which offers a complete list aggregated from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission reports about emergency room procedures. But don’t link to it yet!!! We have to play the game first. The body orifices and items shown above are not matched correctly. Your job is to match them up properly. The answer follows if you continue reading.

Continue reading “A Lovely Holiday Game” →