Prayers Are Answered
Tag: satire
Cooking Up a Better Budget
It appears that Meals on Wheels and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting may survive the new Trump budget plan, although in a new form. Both were originally identified as programs to have federal funding completely eliminated. Due to some creative thinking by leaders in both programs, it looks like they will merge and receive funding for the new …
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Trump Takes a Chancellor
BREAKING NEWS …
In his meeting today with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Donald Trump showed incredible restraint and presidentialosity.
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Hispanic Panic
Refining the Defining
You’re Fired & Wiretapped!
Today Donald Trump clarified his claim of being “wiretapped” by President Obama by expanding the definition of wiretapping to include Obama watching Trump on The Apprentice.
Trump Going Country
Senate Dems Raise Trump Cabinet IQ
Donald Trump should be thanking rather than verbally spanking Senate Democrats. Several of Trump’s confirmed Cabinet members actually have lower IQ’s than the empty Cabinet seats they filled. By delaying confirmation of the remaining Trump Cabinet nominees, Senate Democrats may be helping keep the average IQ of Trump’s Cabinet higher than if all seats were filled. Betsy DeVos, the only Cabinet member with an IQ in negative double digits, was available for comment, but unable to utter an intelligible sentence.
Don’t Fence Me In, But Do Wall Him In
After an intruder breached the White House fence overnight, Donald Trump has promised that Mexico will pay for a wall around the White House. I think Mexico (and the rest of the world) might actually agree to pay for it if the wall makes the White House as difficult to get out of as into.
CO2? Pruitt Doesn’t.
Head of the EPA Scott Pruitt weighed in yesterday on whether CO2 emissions are causing global warming, “I would not agree that it’s (CO2) a primary contributor to the global warming that we see.” This is contrary to the EPA website that declares, “Carbon dioxide is the primary greenhouse gas that is contributing to recent climate change.”
Pruitt shared additional thoughts on CO2. “This so-called ‘invisible’ gas is supposed to be accelerating climate change? How can a gas we can’t even see cause that? How can we even be sure that such an alleged gas that we cannot see and cannot smell even exists?”
Education Secretary Betsy DeVos responded by issuing a statement that she planned to do or say something really stupid to quickly regain the mantle of dumbest Trump Cabinet member. Although Pruitt really threw down the gauntlet with his CO2 position, we have complete confidence in Betsy.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder …
AMA says AHCA not AOK
https://wire.ama-assn.org/ama-news/physicians-reject-house-aca-replacement-bill
Nice to see the AMA (American Medical Association) come out strongly against the Republican-backed AHCA bill as a replacement for the ACA.
Waiting, waiting, waiting for this …
Bigger, Better, Druggier
Tongue-Tied Tillerson
Rex Tillerson has been very quiet since being sworn in as Secretary of State. Sure, he gave an initial speech to State Department employees before getting rid of all of them. Since then, he’s been very, very quiet. There have been photo ops with Tillerson meeting and shaking hands with foreign visitors and dignitaries, but no Q & A. There have been no Rex Tillerson press conferences. And now we know why …
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Celebrate International Women’s Day!
Now how the heck am I going to enjoy International Women’s Day without women around?
I did encourage my wife to wear red today. She didn’t, mainly because she was already dressed for work.
I did encourage my wife to take a day off. She didn’t, mainly because the school that our youngest child attends would close if all the women working there took a day off, and she believes in getting our daughter all the education she can get before the DeVos Effect takes hold.
I encouraged her to spend money today, hoping that the pattern of the first two would continue to the third.
But it’s not just me celebrating International Women’s Day. It should come as no surprise that Donald Trump tweeted his support …
Travel Ban 2.0 Baggage
Breaking News …
Team Trump has clarified some details on the new Travel Ban 2.0. Please note, this is NOT a Muslim ban, as it seeks to restrict the freedoms of ALL darker-skinned travelers, regardless of religion.
First, travelers carrying these specific identifying carry-on items will be exempt from the additional security restrictions imposed by Travel Ban 2.0 and will be allowed free access in and out of the USA …
The Plot Sickens
Breaking News …
Republican healthcare plan to replace Obamacare will include a cemetery plot.
Ban the Brown
Breaking News …
Team Trump has clarified that Trump’s new Executive Order Travel Ban is not specifically a Muslim ban, but a ban on any darker-skinned travelers, especially the ones with accents or “suspicious” names.
By the way, has anyone noticed that “Travel Ban” sounds like Taliban? Coincidence? I hear buy call for a full investigation due to rhyming an Executive Order with a terrorist organization.
Trump Reveals Obama Cat-astrophe!
Tweets, Taps & Ties, Oh My!
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 