I have an eye condition. It takes a lot for me to go see a doctor, but I did for this one. I’ve been seeing things in my right eye. Floaters, indistinct shapes, sometimes insurance salesmen. The latter terrifies me. I’m used to hearing things and actually enjoy the conversations I have with the voices in my head. But what am I supposed to do with the visions? See a doctor, I guess.

Well, that turned out to be an unpleasant visit. The supposed retinal specialist poked and prodded my eyes with his fingers and finally declared my retina was not detached after I promised to pay my bill within 30 days. If my retina wasn’t detached before the exam, it may be detached now. I’m supposed to “give it time and hope it clears up.” I was doing that quite well before I paid to see a doctor.

I was most disappointed that I did not get an eye patch. I had a job interview coming up, and I thought an eye patch would help me get the job. Now, what kind of a job would that be?