Tag: rectum

A Lovely Holiday Game

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Let’s play a game. Take a look at the table below.

Things Stuck in Body Orifices in 2021 per the Consumer Product Safety Commission

Body orificeitem stuck in orifice
EarSpork (Combination of Spoon & Fork)
NoseTwo Batteries
ThroatBilliard Ball
PenisChopstick
VaginaHello Kitty
RectumRubber Snake

This comes from an article in The Defector which offers a complete list aggregated from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission reports about emergency room procedures. But don’t link to it yet!!! We have to play the game first. The body orifices and items shown above are not matched correctly. Your job is to match them up properly. The answer follows if you continue reading.

Continue reading “A Lovely Holiday Game” →

He Had a Great Fall

~ Jim Flanigan

Can you tell me why it is always men, not women, who we hear about ending up in the hospital with things stuck up their backsides? The men always seem to “fall” perfectly onto the item that then gets lodged up their bum. I’m using a British term for derriere since the man in this story is from the UK. Here’s the latest story that UK readers may have already heard about.

Rectum??? It probably almost killed him. Full story link here. If you don’t want to click the link, here are some dimensions to ponder. The mortar shell removed from his tushie was 170mm/6.69″ long and a robust 57mm/2.24″ in diameter. It was designed to penetrate a tank’s armor. This is a good spot to add any lowbrow joke of your own. I have already exceeded my limit. Anyway, you know the old saying, “The mortar the merrier.”