I Have PEED

It’s not what you’re thinking. I didn’t pee myself, although I have peed and will continue to pee throughout the day into a proper toilet as I write this. However, I don’t want you to get the impression that I’m writing this as I pee. That would be awkward, standing there with laptop in one hand and my dingle in the other. How would I type? Maybe with my nose, but that would surely result in a mess on the floor. And surely Shirley, my wife, would be upset. Suffice to say that I take breaks while writing to go and pee. In retrospect, I should have chosen a different title for this post.

Anyway, I have PEED – Post Ecliptical Experience Depression. I didn’t drive the 2+ hours to get into the center of the recent eclipse‘s path in order to get the full effect, and now I regret it. Friends did, and they tell me it was dark, eerie, and magnificent. I figured that at 93% coverage by me, it would be magnificent enough for someone of my ilk. I remembered the 2017 eclipse being dark and eerie. Maybe it was cloudier that day. Wasn’t it always a bit cloudier when Trump was in office? It was a perfectly sunny day for the eclipse a week ago, and the result of the eclipse out by me is that it got slightly darker and cooler. That’s it. A big nothing. I hate that the Trump eclipse was more memorable to me. Thanks, Obama.

But my PEED has slowly faded as some good things happened over the course of the past week, and I feel I can write again. Here’s what has helped me out of my PEED.

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Academy Award Thoughts

It was so weird watching the Academy Awards, knowing that I will probably be walking the red carpet there next year. Yep, I got the script for the movie that I will be in, and I see an Oscar in my future. Here’s the part of the script that pertains to me.

“They endure whispers and stares from the sparse all white, post lunch crowd.

Hey, that’s me, one of the sparse, all white, restaurant patrons. I fully expect a nomination for Best Extra in a Non-Speaking Background Role in a Short-Subject Film. I’m trying to pattern my whispering after Norm Macdonald.

Now that’s top notch whispering. And as far as staring …

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A Bad Moth Joke

I figured I would finish my 12 Days of Blogging with the third in the series of “A Bad M_th Joke” posts. Two days ago, it was about math. Yesterday, meth. Today, thanks to Norm MacDonald (RIP), I am pleased to present his famous bad moth joke in animated form.

Fortunately for you readers, muth and mith are not words.

Mite Be Funny – RIP Norm Macdonald