New Music For Old Rockers – Taking a Walk in the Murder Capital of the USA Edition

While on my recent business trip, I decided to take a walk on a treadmill in the fitness room of my hotel. Here’s the problem … I couldn’t figure out how to get there. It appeared that the elevator would take me to the 7th, 5th, 3rd, or 7th floors.

I took the stairs. Nobody takes the stairs in hotels with elevators. I don’t blame them. Elevators are fun. I like jumping in the elevator while it is moving. Yes, I got one stuck once. Oops.

Anyway, the stairs led me straight to the laundry room on the first floor. Oops, again. I saw a door and headed toward it, hoping it would take me to the hotel lobby. Nope. It was an exit. There I was, standing outside in St. Louis … the murder capital of the USA. Oops, thrice.

So, I made the bold decision to take this sage advice printed on my hotel room key packet.

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Is Chicago Dangerous?

In my real life, I have a customer who is terrified of Chicago. I’m guessing he listened to Trump and Fox News as they have framed Chicago like a war zone. My customer would always warn me about staying away from Chicago. We love to visit the city, and have never felt in danger. Chicago is truly one of the great cities in the world. I finally told my customer in no uncertain terms about what a wonderful city Chicago is, and I haven’t heard anything about Chicago from him since then. Good! If I want to hear lies, I’ll tune in directly to Fox News.

Look, Chicago is a big city, and murders happen, mostly with guns coming from deep red Republican Indiana. Damn Hoosiers! Chicago has almost 2.7 million people within its city limits including my 2 oldest children. They live in a neighborhood that 30 years ago was dangerous. Now, that neighborhood is absolutely delightful … except for the rats. The rats chewed through wiring in my son’s car, and my daughter has seen rats in her apartment’s basement while doing laundry. I noticed this rat-related sign during our last visit to see our kids in Chicago.

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Foment the Ferment

My oldest daughter always tries to get me meaningful Christmas gifts. For example, last year she knew I was trying to eat healthy, so she bought me an herb garden. I still haven’t used it. I just haven’t had the thyme, but I hope to soon.

Wow, what a way to start the New Year, with a bad dad joke. But murder is no joking matter. This Christmas, my first-born bought me this gift which had me convinced that she may be trying to murder me.

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