No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Yesterday, my wife calmly pointed out a bee/wasp/hornet on her pillow. Like one of Pavlov’s conditioned dogs, I reached for a tissue, gathered the creature in its folds, and took it outside to set it free. I guess technically it was free inside our house, and I was the one who imprisoned it in a tissue, so is that really setting it free? It’s kind of like when Donald Trump signs a heinous Executive Order, chaos ensues, and then he “fixes” the problem by revoking the order, most likely because some circuit court judge ordered him to do so.

Anyway, my wife’s pillow was bee/wasp/hornet-free when she was ready for bed last night. We both slept soundly, with my sounds being mostly snores. That was until I felt a sharp pain in my arm, like a deranged acupuncturist was loose in our bedroom. I groggily reached for the area, grabbed something, threw it on my nightstand, and went back to a fitful sleep. I dreamed I had a stinging pain in my arm the rest of the night. Meanwhile, my wife dreamed she was married to a pain in the neck for the rest of her life.

In the morning, I awoke to this …

Continue reading “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished”

Trump Finds Job Taxing

Trump Tweet Tax Reform

Ban the Brown

Breaking News …

Team Trump has clarified that Trump’s new Executive Order Travel Ban is not specifically a Muslim ban, but a ban on any darker-skinned travelers, especially the ones with accents or “suspicious” names.

By the way, has anyone noticed that “Travel Ban” sounds like Taliban? Coincidence? I hear buy call for a full investigation due to rhyming an Executive Order with a terrorist organization.

CPAC? See Terror!

Breaking News Alert!

The Department of Homeland Security has just issued a blockbuster report that shows that immigrants from the 7 nations affected by Trump’s Executive Order Muslim ban are less likely to commit an act of terror than CPAC attendees and especially CPAC guest speakers.

Deportation Transportation

The news from yesterday that Trump, Inc. had purchased the Trailways Bus Line was met with some confusion. Sure, bus travel is as bad of an experience as eating a Trump Steak, but the acquisition just didn’t seem to fit with the Trump brand. The shocking news that is breaking today now makes some sense of yesterday’s bus acquisition.

Continue reading “Deportation Transportation”