Tag: colonoscopy

Cancer is Killing Me

~ Jim Flanigan

Financially, not literally. Sorry about the clickbait headline, but it’s for a good cause to get your attention to talk about cancer. We just had World Cancer Awareness Day on the 4th of February. I was certainly aware of my cancer when my dermatologist cut out a big chunk of my back fat to keep a melanoma from spreading where it shouldn’t spread. Get checked regularly for cancer.

That’s one reason I reluctantly agreed to finally get a colonoscopy recently. The other reason is that I could make some money in the process. I was accepted into a clinical trial for a blood sample test to replace colonoscopies. My colonoscopy would be free thanks to good insurance, while the clinical trial would line my pockets with a couple hundred bucks. And then I got the bill …

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My Medical Dilemma

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I continued to stick to my New Year’s resolution of trying something new or unusual each week. Last week, I got my first colonoscopy. That was not my medical dilemma though. I was a bit overdue for a colonoscopy, and it turned out to not be the horrible experience I expected. I had a nice pleasant buzz on for about 30 minutes after coming out from under anesthesia.

They didn’t find any obvious cancer, but they did remove two hopefully benign polyps that were just so darn cute. They looked like little colon nipples.

I can’t wait to get them back and proudly display them in a jar on our fireplace mantle. I even picked out names for the two polyps. What do you think of these names?

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I survived 2 Mageddons

~ Jim Flanigan

The past week was rough. First, we had Snowmageddon a week ago. I paid the price physically. Those 3 days of heavy snow and subsequent back-breaking snow removal were followed by 3 days of Coldmageddon. I paid the price mentally on those cold days. The 3 days of Coldmageddon were not the coldest Chicagoland has ever seen, but they were brutal, down to -16F/-26.7C overnight. Highs during the day were subzero F and around -18C. Cold enough that the train track fires had to be lit to keep the switches working.

And then we had a bit more snow and a bit more cold to finish out the week. We’re coming out of it now, and I look forward to days above freezing this next week.

I checked on fellow Chicagolanders to see how they were mentally coping with Coldmageddon. Here’s a Chicagoan who hit the beach.

I do love to swim, but that seemed a bit extreme to me. I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the pool. I settled for doing this each day …

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An Ironic Pain in my Butt

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I am waaaaaay overdue for a colonoscopy. You could say I’m a bit behind.

I even have a dear friend who had colon cancer. You would think that’s enough incentive to get checked. Oh, sure, I pooped in a box and mailed it in. Then I found out that there are places that will actually check it for signs of colon cancer, so I changed where I had been mailing my poop. All clear for cancer. But that was a few years ago, and that test is supposedly not as effective as a colonoscopy.

Researchers have been working on a blood sample test as a replacement for a colonoscopy. I have some good news and bad news to share.

The good news is that I have been accepted into a clinical trial for the colorectal cancer blood sample screening test. Yay! They even will pay me a little cash every time they draw blood. Double yay!

But there is some bad news with an ironic twist. After they take my blood sample, then I have to get a standard colonoscopy that I was hoping to avoid. Irony is going to be a pain in my butt after all.

Cancer 1 – Jim 1

~ Jim Flanigan

Well, it turns out I do have skin cancer … again. But it’s the least dangerous type, and my dermatologist thinks she scooped most of it out when she took the biopsies. So I get to use this nasty cream for 6 weeks to kill any remaining cancer.

Yes, yes, we all see the reference to genital warts. I can hear your tittering, which has grown louder since I used the word “tittering.” Hey, genital warts are serious or so I’ve heard from “a friend.” If you’ve never seen one, here’s an example of a very dangerous combination cancerous genital wart …
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Help Yourself

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

In the days leading up to the election, I didn’t do much self-care. Throw Halloween in the mix, and I was subsisting on chocolate and anxiety for over a week. I was just a bit on edge. When I lost a 7 team college football parlay because the overwhelmingly prohibitive favorite Penn State that I knew would win actually lost badly, this was the result …

I loved that hot tub, but the heater was shot and we can’t sell our house with a 20 year old hot or cold tub sitting out back. I can’t stay mad too much longer at Penn State, because Pennsylvania actually delivered the election victory to Joe Biden. Anyway, that demolition was a good way to help myself alleviate stress, which I needed since there was even more stress to come.

As the cherry on top, my dear friend and brother from another mother was diagnosed with colon cancer which he WILL easily beat if he knows what’s good for him. Okay, that didn’t make sense, but he’ll know what I mean.

With the election over and democracy having won, a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can’t make my friend’s cancer disappear, but I can get checked myself. You see, I have also been lax about a colonoscopy. I am way overdue. Fortunately, our healthcare provider just coincidentally emailed me about getting a colon cancer check by mail for FREE. I immediately signed up, and received the stool sample kit this past weekend. However, there was a problem with the collection vial they sent me …

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In Through the Out Door

~ Jim Flanigan

I have a dear friend getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy this week on the same day. I’m concerned that they may do both scopes from opposite ends at the same time. What if the two scopes meet in the middle? What if the scopes meet and get tangled? What if my friend then has to have surgery to get the scopes untangled? What if the scopes meet, fall in love, and elope together to the gall bladder? I need answers to these questions, please. I am literally asking for a friend.