Trump Tweets Lie List
Category: satire
USA Depends on Jared
BREAKING NEWS …
Jared Kushner lands in Iraq for a visit with an itinerary that will depend on how close Kushner gets to the actual fighting and how long his supply of a key item holds up.
In a related story, Kushner’s trip to Iraq is being sponsored by Depend for Men.
Trump Tweets Important Questions
Trump Hopes Chinese President Likes Golf
The Flynn Flam Man
“Yeah, so a couple things, the very last thing that John Podesta just said is no individual too big to jail, that should include people like Hillary Clinton. I mean, five people around her have had, have been given immunity, to include her former Chief of Staff. When you are given immunity, that means that you have probably committed a crime.” – General Mike Flynn on Meet The Press, September 25, 2016.
On March 30, 2017, the now disgraced former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn requested immunity from prosecution in exchange for his testimony to the FBI and Congress.
Trump supporters can come to only one conclusion …
Hillary should be in jail for her emails!
Russian Friends?
BREAKING NEWS:
Russian influence in the USA has now been traced all the way back to unsuccessful efforts to get Jennifer Aniston as Rachel removed from the cast of “Friends” back in the early 2000’s. Sources claim that Russia hoped the cast shake-up would make the US appear less friendly.
Trump’s Secret Tweet Message of Truth
Donald Trump is telling the truth. I know that is hard to believe, but I am convinced that he is truthfully speaking to us, the American public, through his tweets. We just have to find the true meaning in his tweeted messages.
Take this one for example …
I see the message. I see the truth. I feel liberated. Oops, that’s just due to a lack of pants as I type this. But I do see the message as I separate the wheat from the chaff. Take a closer look …
Bannon Usurped as Top Trump Adviser!
Rare Hair Lair
Cash Pipe
Another Trump Bestseller
Devin Intervention
Breaking News …
Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, dismissed revelations that he briefed Donald Trump on new intelligence information regarding the Russian surveillance investigation before the information was even provided to his own intelligence committee. When confronted by our crack investigative team, Nunes clarified his position for us. “Look, this is no big deal. I play no favorites. When I get some new intelligence about Trump, I tell Trump. When I get some new intelligence about Putin, I tell Putin.”
Ainsley Outed!
I swear I was NOT watching Fox & Friends this morning purposely. I didn’t even realize it was on one of the televisions in the workout room in the hotel where I was staying. I was already into my treadmill run when I noticed it was on. When I run, I am barely able to continuously put one foot in front of the other. There was absolutely no way that I would be able to pause the treadmill, get off the treadmill, change the channel, get back on the treadmill, start the treadmill, and continue running. That was just not going to happen. Somewhere between pausing the treadmill and getting back on, I would end up sitting on the weight bench eating a candy bar, despite not even having a candy bar in my possession. So I plodded on while the blithering idiots on Fox & Friends blathered on.
They were discussing ancestry and exploring one’s heritage through DNA analysis. When thinking of the Fox & Friends hosts’ ancestry, this image flashed through my mind …
If a Trump tweet has spelling errors, it must be authentic, right?
Prayers Are Answered
Cooking Up a Better Budget
It appears that Meals on Wheels and the Corporation for Public Broadcasting may survive the new Trump budget plan, although in a new form. Both were originally identified as programs to have federal funding completely eliminated. Due to some creative thinking by leaders in both programs, it looks like they will merge and receive funding for the new …
Continue reading “Cooking Up a Better Budget”
Trump Takes a Chancellor
BREAKING NEWS …
In his meeting today with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Donald Trump showed incredible restraint and presidentialosity.
Continue reading “Trump Takes a Chancellor”
Hispanic Panic
Refining the Defining
You’re Fired & Wiretapped!
Today Donald Trump clarified his claim of being “wiretapped” by President Obama by expanding the definition of wiretapping to include Obama watching Trump on The Apprentice.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 