Pope Francis Disappointed in US Visit

As the USA welcomes Pope Francis to the country, word has leaked out that Pope Francis is unhappy with the itinerary provided for his trip. Sources indicate that the Pontiff expressed disappointment that despite being in the States for almost a week, there are no visits scheduled to see the Padres, Angels or Cardinals play baseball.

Rick Perry Volunteers to Secure Borders in Advance of Papal Visit to USA

After withdrawing from the Republican presidential primary, former Texas Governor Rick Perry discovered that he didn’t have much on his plate anymore except waiting around for the felony charge pending against him to work it’s way through the court system. With a visit from Pope coming up, Perry decided to pitch in to get Texas ready for the Papal visit. The Pope is not scheduled to visit Texas, and Rick Perry aims to keep it that way. He’s lending a hand with inflatable fencing to ring the state with the goal to keep the Pontiff out.

Inflatable Anti-Papal Fence
Inflatable Anti-Papal Fence

“If the Pope sees the greatness of the state of Texas, he may just choose to settle here … illegally,” Perry suggested. He continued, “I mean, where he lives is full of Italians and he’s Hispanic. Why wouldn’t he choose Texas?”

When asked about the effectiveness of an inflatable fence, Perry replied, “He’s an older man, so these inflatable fences should be a cost-effective way to keep the Pope out, unless he brings his Vatican Guard to help storm the border.” Mr. Perry declined to comment on the likelihood that the Pope would fly into a Texas airport rather than walking or driving the Popemobile across the border.