There’s already a plethora of beloved winter holiday characters like Santa Claus, Frosty the Snowman, Krampus, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (drinking problem perhaps?), and the Grinch. But there’s always room for one more to gather around my yule log. Introducing Pumpkinman.

We have no snow on the ground, but I did have rotting pumpkins. What better use than this? And if you are so inclined, make a Pumpkinwoman or non-binary Pumpkinperson.

Pro Tip: Magic marker does now write well on wet, rotting pumpkins. It’s probably for the best. The face I was drawing on the collapsing pumpkin was trending creepy.

As a new holiday tradition, I’ll give you daily updates and pics on how Pumpkinman is doing. Maybe Pumpkinman will get himself involved in all sorts of hilarious antics like the Elf on a Shelf. Perhaps he’ll be smoking a pipe, wearing a jaunty driving cap, growing a carrot nose, or injecting his stick arm with heroin. We’ll see what hilarious mischief he may be up to. Pumpkinman and I wish for you plenty of good holiday cheer and clean needles.