Tweeting Some Love For Trumpcare
Tag: satire
Trump Off To Bed(minster)
Whip It Good
Spin This
Rewriting History
BREAKING NEWS …
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos prepped Donald Trump for his comments today on Andrew Jackson and the Civil War.
BROKEN NEWS …
Betsy DeVos is currently trying to reach out to Frederick Douglass to assist with damage control after Trump commented today on Andrew Jackson and the Civil War.
Un Thing Leads to Another
People are surprised when Donald Trump said today that he would be honored to meet North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I’m not. There are no Trump properties developed in North Korea, so the market is wide open for hotel, casino and golf resort development. Trump Tower Pyongyang perhaps? Of course he wants to buddy up with Kim Jong Un. And who knows, maybe bankruptcy laws are even more lenient in North Korea than in the USA?
I just hope that Trump isn’t too disappointed when he finds out that this 27 year old North Korean leader named “Kim” isn’t a hot chick. I guess there’s no telling if Trump and Un will ever meet, but we know they at least will be in the same room this fall when they both travel to attend the World Dictator’s Conference in Monte Carlo.
Scratching the Surface of Success
Desperate for a huge win in his first 100 days in office, Donald Trump has decided to play tens of thousands of dollars worth of scratch-off lottery tickets on this, his 100th day. Trump has been sending Sean Spicer on lottery ticket runs to every convenient store in the greater DC area. Back at the White House, Kellyanne Conway is putting her nails to good use scratching off the tickets, 10 at a time. So far, Trump’s strategy is working and he is up $134 at the time of this writing, which does make this project one of Trump’s biggest successes in his first 100 days.
Rex Sleeps One Over on the UN
BREAKING NEWS …
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson addressed the United Nations regarding North Korea in a somnambulistic monotone, rendering discussion on the floor impossible and allowing a UN resolution for the USA to use whatever means deemed necessary against North Korea to pass with a 1-0 vote.
Another Trump Win in Round 1
Trump Refuses Aid to Europe?
I really wish the first part of this embellished tweet wasn’t real …
Bigly Remarks
Kill By April 30th
BREAKING NEWS …
The State of Arkansas has discovered even more midazolam, the drug used for lethal injection executions, with expiration dates at the end of April. With that discovery, the State of Arkansas has announced that they are scheduling executions not just for Death Row inmates, but any Arkansas citizen is now welcome to be executed on a first come, first killed basis.
Happy Earth Day, Part 2
Happy Earth Day, Part 1
Trump Finds Job Taxing
My Mada is Your Mada is Armada
BREAKING NEWS …
The USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier, said by various members of the Trump administration including Trump himself to be the centerpiece of an “armada” heading to the Korean peninsula when it was actually nowhere close, has reportedly been spotted in Lake Michigan off the coast of Chicago.
Armada, Not Your Mada
Both Defense Secretary Jim Mattis and National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster proclaimed that it was a prudent decision to sent the USS Carl Vinson aircraft carrier to the Korean peninsula about a week ago.
Of course, the Cheeto-in-Chief couldn’t keep quiet and wanted the world to know that he was very well aware of what was heading to the Korean peninsula …
“We are sending an armada. Very powerful. We have submarines. Very powerful, far more powerful than the aircraft carrier, that I can tell you,” Trump said in an interview with Fox Business Network.
Except he didn’t send an armada. Now we find that the USS Carl Vinson has been nowhere close to the Korean peninsula. I think it is just a matter of time before we see this Trump tweet …
Continue reading “Armada, Not Your Mada”
Happy Tweetster!
Everyone in the Trump Pool!
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 