Lincoln Chafee Quits Race

Lincoln Chafee announced he is leaving the Democratic presidential primary race. Twitter and facebook responded by not blowing up.

When reached for comment, both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders asked, “Who?” Martin O’Malley, missing since he announced his candidacy, could not be located for comment.

First Democratic Debate Rocks Polls

In the wake of the first debate between the Democratic primary candidates, the polls reflect some significant changes and a new contender. Not too much changed at the top as Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders still lead the polls. Clinton polls extremely well with those wearing pants suits, getting approval from over 95% of that demographic. Sanders earned high marks from the “no original teeth” demographic, especially in the Northern states. Those in that demographic polled did complain that the debate was on too late, it conflicted with Matlock reruns, and the mashed potatoes at dinner were too lumpy. Sanders did not do so well in the “no original teeth” demographic in the South where that demographic cuts across all age groups.

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