Tag: funny

Born To Shun

~ Jim Flanigan

While the rest of Chicagoland was attending Bruce Springsteen concerts at historic Wrigley Field on Wednesday and Friday nights, I was busy checking for loose change between our couch cushions. My summer concert budget has dropped to zero after some home repairs/improvements. Rather than spending my youngest daughter’s college fund for tickets, parking, concessions, and a Bruuuuuuuce t-shirt, I passed on making the always challenging journey to Wrigley. Just kidding. We don’t have a college fund for our daughter. By the way, it’s cool having a ballpark right in the middle of Chicago, but that makes for some transporation challenges unless one lives near a CTA train stop. We live at least 30 miles away from the closest.

It turns out that I could have saved on tickets by just sitting outside of Wrigley.

But it’s not like I didn’t see a concert. There was no challenging drive, train ride, bus transfer, etc. to see this show. I hopped on my bike to catch this group in our town’s downtown park.

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Summer Axolotl

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Great name for a band, right? I can hear it now. Alright, put your hands together for the hottest band in the world, here to play the hits from their latest blockbuster album Aquatic Salamander, please welcome Summer Axolotl.

My Summer Axolotl was not that exciting. We took care of this Axolotl over the summer from the local school.

Cute, huh? It’s name is Cricket. Shouldn’t every Axolotl be named Axl? It just makes sense to me. I do sort of miss it. We moved it back to the school classroom to be ready for the kids arriving back to school on Monday. There is one thing I won’t miss though. This …

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A Lollapalooza Concert Report

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

It’s Lollapalooza weekend in Chicago, so here’s my Lolla report on the concerts I’ve seen so far. I haven’t seen any. It turns out that we needed not only a new refrigerator-freezer, but also a new hot water heater. For whatever reasons, my family insists on hot water. Bourgeois elitists. What’s next on their list of demands? Indoor plumbing?

Anyway, my concert budget plummeted to zero quicker than Trump’s chance at acquittal of all charges after another indictment. I am left with scrounging for free shows. I did get an email about a free Michael McDermott show for tonight. We have become fans, although we have seen him twice in the span of 9 months. Another time and we may graduate from fans to stalkers. And can they make this show sound a little better?

It sounds like he’ll be busking for loose change from commuters rather than headlining a free show at the Northbrook Days festival. It should be good, but it’s an hour away, so I opted for this local concert for which I “won” free tickets.

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A Political Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

When Trump got COVID, I really didn’t care what happened. I knew he would get the best of care, and he did. If he hadn’t recovered, well, that would have been quite ironic. But now, I find myself wanting the best of health for Trump. I want him to live a long life, at least another 20 years. The reason is that I want to see him like this …

For as long as humanly possible. Am I a bad guy?

In One Door & Out The Other

~ Jim Flanigan

This video reminds me that I haven’t eaten corn in a while.

Flies On Washington Walls #202 – The Trump Jury

~ Jim Flanigan

I Am NOT Full of Schlitz

~ Jim Flanigan

Schlitz was once the largest brewer of beer in the USA. By the time I was of legal age to buy beer, Schlitz had changed their ingredients (including the addition of silica gel) and method of brewing. From the top of the US beer world, they slid to become known and reviled as a bargain bin beer to drink if you wanted to get drunk on a budget.

It’s not like Schlitz didn’t try to convince us to drink its swill. They were famous for their “Drink Schlitz or we’ll kill you” commercials.

Yes, that is actress Teri Garr as the waitress incredibly AFTER her classic role in “Young Frankenstein.”

But I’m most impressed by this musical effort from a favorite band of mine to convince us to drink Schlitz.

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Mite Be Funny – RIP Paul Reubens

~ Jim Flanigan

A Tale of Two Concerts

~ Jim Flanigan

How in the bloody hell did I end up at this show over the weekend?

Some say it’s because I’m Father of the Year. I volunteered to take my 15-year-old daughter and her friend to see the feminist punk band Destroy Boys. You may remember them from their haunting ballad “I Threw Glass at My Friend’s Eyes and Now I’m on Probation.” Anyway, I took these two lovely young ladies into Chicago to Metro to see the show.

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Goodbye Fridge, Hello Diet

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

We purchased a new refrigerator freezer late last week, so that started me on a new diet. I’m determined to eat all the old, suspect food in the outgoing cooler before the new one arrives Wednesday. I’ve been doing a good job. Here’s a concoction I made from an old bag of Potatoes O’Brien, ancient frozen corn (possibly of Mayan origin), some 9 month old frozen tomatoes from last year’s garden, and some chicken breast strips that nobody else in the house would eat.

I added some hot sauce, and it was delicious. More importantly, it eliminated 2 bags from the fridge-freezer. More to be emptied as long as I don’t get food poisoning first. Even without food poisoning, which I would consider to be a dieting bonus, I have dropped a couple pounds.

You may wonder why we just didn’t get our appliance repaired. I was afraid of a situation like this …

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When Truth is Not Stranger Than Fiction in Indiana

~ Jim Flanigan

Conservatives are flocking to Indiana from Illinois including some family and friends. They claim it’s about high taxes in Illinois. When they slowly explain that to us, the only thing missing is a “duh!” at the end of their explanation, as if we Illinoisans are the dopes. I have to admit, taxes are higher in Illinois, but you get what you pay for. We pay for a progressive, welcoming state. And by we, I mean the northern third of the state. I’m good with So. IL being annexed by Indiana.

I may have been a bit nasty toward Indiana in my last post. It’s not that the state is terrible or all Hoosiers (Indianans) are dumb. For example, here’s a clever satirical piece on Facebook written by an Indiana resident.

Kevin, good job! It’s well-written, especially for a Facebook post, and it makes me wish there really was a Dr. Eric Paddlejack. Nice writing, Kevin. But that’s not the weird part of the story. Apparently, this post caused quite a commotion in Indiana, especially for residents in and around the Lake Monroe area. Notice this at the bottom right of the post …

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My Bike Is Broken & So Am I

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Yep, tried to bike today, and I have a flat. So does my bike. After a dismal biking month in May, I was certain that I would do better in June. Well, I did, but it wasn’t the 100+ miles I envisioned. It wasn’t even half that. It was 42.75 miles. On my imaginary bike trip this summer, I was just about to exit Illinois and enter Indiana. Even if I hug the lakeshore on my way to Michigan, I’m not sure 42.75 miles gets me out of Indiana. Nothing personal toward Hoosiers, but I’m firmly in R. Dean Taylor’s camp when he sings this song about not wanting to go back to Indiana. If I had done better in July so far, I would plot out my progress on a map showing how far into Michigan I am. But I’ve forced myself out biking only once so far this month, and today was a failed attempt thanks to the flat. Maybe it is fitting. My daughter and I were planning a short trip taking a similar route to my imaginary bike trip, except in a car. But that trip has been canceled when she opted for a Destroy Boys concert that I have to take her to instead. More on that in another post.

I have been surprised at how well one summer exercise has been going.

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A Political Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

I saw this story and was quite interested in the details surrounding this presidential campaign event.

The full details of the story absolutely must be read on the Page Six website, but if reading isn’t your thing, here’s a YouTube synopsis.

I am so disappointed. I really wanted the climate denying farter to be RFK Jr. and for this incident to sink his sad campaign. Am I a bad guy?

Flash Fiction Failure

~ Jim Flanigan

I enjoyed the NYC Midnight 100 word flash fiction challenge last year, so I decided to give it a go again this year. I just didn’t want to be assigned the horror genre like I was last year. Of course, you can be sure I was assigned horror along with using the action of tracing something in the story and the word lite. All in 100 words. My goal this year was to make it past the first round. I did not. Here are some of the reasons the judges did not like my story.

  • If you were to create a creepier tone to start with, I think it would better flow into the reveal.
  • Having so much dialogue in such a short story started to take away from what you were able to do, and meant the narrative and characters felt a little unformed.
  • The dialogue was a liiiittle bit tacky.

Well, it wasn’t all bad news, but there wasn’t enough good news to get past the first round. Here’s all 98 words of “A Drinking Problem” that I wrote in 24 hours for the contest.

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Concert Quiz

~ Jim Flanigan

Are you up for a one question concert quiz? Lovely! Please read on. We have an extended holiday weekend in the US with lots of concerts in town. A couple friends and I were choosing between these two free concerts.

I know you’re thinking, “Who the hell is Mark Farner?” He was a vocalist, guitarist, and songwriter for Grand Funk Railroad, so certainly a front man for GFR like Gramm was for Foreigner.

Frontier Days doesn’t really take place on the frontier, but in Arlington Heights, a suburb of Chicago. It’s not that far, but I wasn’t up for a drive on consecutive evenings. We had to pick one. The setlists were compelling. Here’s a link to Gramm’s setlist featuring a veritable hit parade of familiar Foreigner tunes. Here’s the link to Farner’s setlist featuring slightly older Grand Funk hits.

So, quiz time. Which did we choose?

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Trial and Error

~ Jim Flanigan

I was notified that the clinical trial I am enrolled in for an RSV vaccine is ending on June 30th. I am saddened because that will be $80 a month less in my pocket. But I am proud to have participated in the trial which may have resulted in this …

I’m pretty sure I did not get the placebo, because I developed a golf ball size knot at the injection site that took a few weeks to dissipate. But I also did not get RSV, and now a vaccine will be available to all. Am I a hero? Sure, you can call me that, but I would prefer if you just send me $80 a month.

I don’t think I will be doing many more clinical trials in the future after seeing this one …

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Agree to Disagree

~ Jim Flanigan

I took an online quiz on agreeability, and they sent me the results.

I disagree.

No, My Bike Isn’t Broken

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I don’t know what I was thinking when I resolved to cycle 500 miles this biking season. Even after starting in February with plans to bike into November, I may not come close to the 500 mile mark. By the end of May, I had totaled all of 50 miles. 50. Five oh. Ugh. Let’s see where that put me geographically.

After passing through Chicago, one of the great cities in the world (unless you listen to Fox News), I found myself at the border of … Indiana. Ugh, again. I’m not going to disparage Indiana. However, my plan was to cycle more in June to get out of Indiana as fast as I could. But here I am with one week left in the month, and I am still not pedaling enough.

In years past, knowing that I was going to miss a goal would either make me crazy or work harder to meet that goal. Now, I just want to see where I can get to before cold weather makes me hang the bike up for the season. I’m just going to enjoy the ride. My youngest daughter and I may be taking a driving trip along a similar route, so maybe I can point out some places to you that we see along the way while driving/imaginary biking.

Now as for swimming, even though we have no pool this year, I’ve been swimming frequently. I was feeling all puffy-chested as I headed out for a longish (for me) open water swim this morning at this gorgeous body of water.

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New Music for Old Rockers – Rejected Concert Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

It’s really not like me to turn down a free concert. I’ve gone and seen some pretty crappy concerts, because they were free. But this one had promise. The group is pretty hip with a Lumineers-like sound. They have a new album out. And I really like this new song which was their first release off the new album.

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Summer Concerts Rock

~ Jim Flanigan

While I prefer my summer concerts to be outdoors, I kicked off my 2023 summer concert series with my wife at an indoor show at City Winery in Chicago where I recently saw some of XTC perform as EXTC. The great thing about venturing out in Chicago to do anything is that there are never any Fox News viewers out & about in Chicago. One of the great cities of the world is just a bit too scary for them. My message to Fox News viewers is to listen to Steve Perry of Journey and “Don’t stop believing” that nonsense. We really don’t miss having you around.

We had just seen Michael McDermott around Halloween last year do his annual Halloweensteen show where he pays tribute to Bruce Springsteen. It was a great show, and it was free, courtesy of local radio station WXRT, which made the show even greater. But I had never seen McDermott perform his own music. In fact, outside of absolutely loving one of his songs and having heard a few others, I was somewhat unfamiliar with his catalog. So, it was with some trepidation that I bought tickets to see McDermott perform his album Gethsemane on the 30th anniversary of its release.

Well, the gamble paid off. First, his Gethsemane album is a gem from beginning to end. No wonder he was being hailed as the next Dylan. You can listen to the whole album here.

But there have been big changes in McDermott in the 30 years since Gethsemane was released.

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