Category: Political

My Time at the DNC

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, I know I wrote about not finding any volunteer jobs available at the DNC this week befitting a man of my ilk. And then I did, thanks to friends who were diligently looking for similar volunteer opportunities rather than griping about it through some random humor blog. I somehow missed a great job that was described to me by a guy who traveled all the way from Philadelphia to volunteer. He drove delegates around in a golf cart in cavernous McCormick Place as they caucused. Who doesn’t like driving a golf cart? I’m sorry I missed that gig.

But volunteering at the United Center moved me to try the CTA Blue Line elevated train which stops close to the UC. Ew, public transportation, right? It was immaculate!

It looked better than I did as I put forth a strained smile while struggling to take this selfie.

Continue reading “My Time at the DNC” →

Unconventional

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Fellow Democrats are descending upon Chicago to formally nominate the Kamala Harris/Tim Walz ticket for the election in November. I hear that additionally, despite his service to our nation, Joe Biden will be ceremoniously put on a Greyhound bus out of town. Democrats can be a tough bunch.

I thought it would be fun and interesting to volunteer for the Democratic National Convention as long as it’s in town. I envisioned myself writing jokes for VP Harris to boisterously laugh at. Maybe make some Tik Tok videos of Tim Walz dispensing life hacks about how best to work the breakfast buffet at his hotel. Or, perhaps being the one to drive President Uncle Joe to the bus depot. And amazingly, I passed the security clearance to volunteer!

As I perused the volunteer opportunities, I gravitated toward these.

As a former adult film star, I thought escorting would be a natural for me. But are the Democrats so randy that they need some escort action while in the airports? Can’t they wait to get to their hotels? Anyway, my wife put a stop to this idea. I looked further.

Continue reading “Unconventional” →

How To Lose Credibility With Me

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

I had one very interesting day last week. I braved the alleged most dangerous city in the USA per Fox News, Trump, MAGA, and assorted other clowns to attend a trade show in Chicago. Yes, the same Chicago that recently hosted Lollapalooza with 110,000 people per day packed into Grant Park with ZERO casualties over the 4 festival days. No shootings. No overdoses. No heat-related deaths, and it was hot. The crowd for Chappell Roan was massive.

I wouldn’t be caught dead in a crowd like that, but nobody else was either, because Chicago is safe and a great place to visit or live. I felt safe visiting the trade show as well as a store named Woolly Mammoth where I attempted to sell my human skull.

No, not my own personal skull which I’m still using at times, but a skull I inherited from a former boss when he passed away. I liked it for a while, but then it started making me sad thinking about its original owner. The proprietor of Woolly Mammoth and I talked human skulls for a while, but we were unable to agree on a price. He wasn’t the one that lost credibility with me. He was quite credible and obviously knew his skulls. It was the guy who took my blood at the stop I made just before Woolly Mammoth.

Continue reading “How To Lose Credibility With Me” →

Is Biden’s Decision Bad for US Economy?

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

Politics aside, some say that Joe Biden’s decision to drop out of the presidential race is hurting the economy. You say you want proof? Oh, I have proof for you.

As a fellow small business owner, I can relate. It hurts when you’ve made a product investment and then see the market change drastically. But as a small business owner who has been in that predicament, I can offer this advice …

Continue reading “Is Biden’s Decision Bad for US Economy?” →

Biden or ???

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

I golfed Monday, and I was asked numerous times by others in my foursome whether Joe Biden should be replaced as the Democrat candidate for the presidency. I didn’t have an answer, and quite frankly, no one from my golf foursome should care about my political opinion. Nor should anyone. But now I have clarity.

I hopped on my bike yesterday after work and took off for some berry picking. The black raspberries are almost done for the season. The mock strawberries fruit all summer long. If they do stop, I can always buy regular strawberries and mock them myself. Now is the time to harvest mulberries, and that’s what made up most of my foraging yesterday.

But I also found something else as I foraged that helped me choose my preferred Democrat candidate.

Continue reading “Biden or ???” →

A Musical Tribute to RFK, Jr.

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

Yeah, the whole “a parasitic worm ate part of my brain” story was pretty weird coming from Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. So, let’s celebrate it with music. The internet told me that RFK, Jr. received an honorary doctorate degree from a college in Florida, which means we can call him …

Sadly, the internet was wrong!

Internet wrong? That usually never happens. But in 1999, Florida Southern College gave RFK, Jr. a citation, not an honorary degree.

A citation for what? Jaywalking? Still, that’s good enough for me to call him Dr. Worm. It’s kind of ironic though. He has railed against the COVID vaccine and most other vaccines. Anyone up for polio? So, what’s the alternative for the COVID vaccines? Here’s what RFK Jr. has suggested.

Continue reading “A Musical Tribute to RFK, Jr.” →

Bridge Over Trumpled Waters

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I have enjoyed the reporting from the NYC courthouse regarding the Trump trial. It’s very informative and professional.

But am I the only one who gets an overwhelming urge to listen to a Simon and Garfunkel song after those segments?

My Eclipse Day is Looking Up Musically

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Today is the day of the big solar eclipse crossing the USA close to me in Chicagoland.

I started to prepare for the eclipse today, but I wondered if I should even bother for a couple reasons. First …

Continue reading “My Eclipse Day is Looking Up Musically” →

Swing and a Miss

~ Jim Flanigan

Well, the swinger’s party I was sure I was attending yesterday turned out to be nothing more than a birthday party. With kids! What happened to adults only on the invite? Regardless, I had another opportunity last night for some other adults only fun. I was headed to a concert last night as part of a reciprocal concert attendance agreement that a friend and I hammered out with the help of our attorneys and a board of arbiters.

The way it works is that my friend treats me to a concert that his wife does not want to attend, and then I will treat him to a concert that my wife will not attend. Both our wives are younger than us, so their musical tastes skew more recent.

That may just sound like going to a concert with a friend, but there is a subtle and important difference. The concert chooser pays for both tickets. That way, the concert guest can’t bitch about the price of the ticket to a concert that may not have been their first choice. It’s a good system.

Anyway, this concert promised an adults only time.

That’s right, Don McLean, the American Pie guy, was scheduled to give an adults only show. What did that mean? Lots of profanity? Gratuitous nudity? I saw an elderly Fee Waybill of The Tubes with his shirt off and pants down when they came to town at the end of 2023, and I didn’t want to see a similar show. Instead, we got Don McLean looking like the ghost of Roy Orbison who had eaten a few too many American pies.

Continue reading “Swing and a Miss” →

Flies On Washington Walls #204 – American Crime

~ Jim Flanigan

Continue reading “Flies On Washington Walls #204 – American Crime” →

New Music for Old Rockers – Climate Change Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

Today is a perfect day to roll out this new song by The Decemberists. It won’t be good for long as temperatures will plunge tonight by 50 degrees F from a high today of 72F/22C to 22F/-5.5C by tomorrow morning. But for the moment, as I type, my windows are open, and I just listened to this song that makes me recall the Beach Boys on a summer day.

What a pleasant new song release in February by The Decemberists that makes me think of June, while it feels like summer on this winter day. Ugh, I’m climately confused. Anyway, I especially like the addition of the jazzy trumpet coming in at the 2:40 mark.

In addition, this song has some importance to me politically and personally. No, I don’t wish Trump would find his way down into some burial ground, and yes, I lie sometimes. No, I am not thinking of my own death more often these days, and yes again, I lie sometimes. Read on because I’m dying to tell you more.

Continue reading “New Music for Old Rockers – Climate Change Edition” →

I’m Shocked by Texas

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m not surprised by many of the weird things that go on in Texas these days. However, I was totally shocked by this one.

I must clarify. I’m not surprised that a Texan is taking items that are for sale in a store and sticking them up his privates in public. I mean, it’s Texas, also known as Florida West. And who among us wouldn’t prefer trying something before buying? What shocks me is that Texas doesn’t have a law on the books prohibiting men from wearing kilts in public. Where are the pockets to carry his weapons? Oh, wait, maybe he carries the weapons another way.

A Divine Resolution

~ Jim Flanigan

I fulfilled my Sunday obligation and a New Year’s resolution for week #2 of 2024 by going to church on Sunday. While going to church is not something new or unusual per my New Year’s resolution, going to an Episcopal Church is. We had no idea what to expect other than it is located directly across the street from the Lutheran church we had recently abandoned because of the congregation’s homophobic harrassment of one of the one pastors who is openly gay. That pastor left the church and the area, but not before she pointed fingers on her way out. The church we left before that one had a homophobic pastor. Did we make progress going from a church with a homophobic pastor to one with a homophobic congregation?

The Flanigans don’t tolerate any mistreatment of others because of their race, creed, color, or sexual orientation. We do tolerate harmless jokes about the MAGA crowd, but that’s about it.

Q: Why did the MAGA crowd deny that German Christmas fruit bread is delicious?

A: Because Trump told them the bread is Stollen.

I literally just made up that joke, and I think that is painfully obvious. I’ll be workshopping that one for the next 11 months to get it ready for next Christmas.

Anyway, we checked on gaychurch.org (really!), and found an accepting Espiscopal church right across the street from our old church. The congregation was definitely welcoming, but seeing this as we slid into the pew was almost a deal-breaker for me.

Continue reading “A Divine Resolution” →

COVID Mystery Solved!

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Where would I have picked-up COVID? Sure, my wife and youngest daughter had been sick, but they tested negative for COVID. I hadn’t been anywhere special to the best of my memory, but I am experiencing the famed COVID fog, so I wasn’t 100% sure. As for other COVID symptoms, they are rough, especially for an older guy like me. I’m grateful for genetics, my general good health, and previous COVID vaccinations. Oh, and I don’t want to forget the wonder drugs available to treat COVID symptoms. Neigh, I’m not horsing around and talking about Ivermectin with bleach chasers. I’m referring to wonderful COVID antiviral treatments like Paxlovid which I am currently taking.

Of course, with Paxlovid, you have to take the good with the bad, like side effects such as loss of taste and smell. My wife asked me today if I’ve lost my smell, but no, I haven’t. I smell as bad as usual. Another side effect is a metallic taste, and that I definitely have. I feel like a James Bond villian.

But the mystery gnawed at me like a diseased rat gnawing at a young waif’s leg.

Where could I have picked-up COVID?

Continue reading “COVID Mystery Solved!” →

Republicans Making Positive Progress – An Essay

~ Jim Flanigan

Democrats don’t like to hear this, but Republicans are evolving and becoming better people. Oh, sure, there are those who will point to Marjorie Taylor Greene, George Santos, and Lauren Boebert as examples of Republicans regressing. Granted, they may be rough around the edges, but what guy can honestly say they wouldn’t want to go to the theater to see a show (and possibly more!) with BoBo? Maybe those three are just outliers, or perhaps more aptly termed outliars. But let me offer this recent Speaker of the House brouhaha as a perfect example of Republicans improving. I’ll explain.

Continue reading “Republicans Making Positive Progress – An Essay” →

We Are Not Alone – Concert Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

But after raising 5 kids and 11 dogs, I want to be alone. It became obvious to me last night as I took some video (more audio than video since I had an obstructed view) of The Hooters in concert that none of us are alone. They’re here, watching us, and last night they were enjoying some 40 year old music. Who is here? Aliens, of course. And not the kind of aliens the MAGA crowd is always bitching about. I’m taking about the extraterrestrial kind of aliens.

Last night I passed on seeing Tommy Tutone (no original band members!) and Rick Springfield at an 80’s concert. I caught Paul Young singing this song to conclude his set, but his vocals no longer sound like they do in that video. Hey, 40 years is a long time. And I can’t confirm if he can still dance like in the video, since I chose a spot to sit across the river with better sound but a somewhat obstructed view. I was there to partially see & hear The Hooters as I indicated in yesterday’s post.

The Hooters sounded great, but they played a bit too long. When you have to start playing covers to extend your set, that’s too long. But I’m glad they did! We were all waiting for them to wrap their set with “And We Danced,” except for the people next to me who had no idea about anyone who was playing last night.

And maybe “they” knew it was coming, too. They … them … the aliens. I took some video of the brilliant full moon over Aurora, Illinois last night as The Hooters ended their set. I thought nothing of it until this morning when I took a look & listen to the video. There it was. Sorry, there “they” were. No, not The Hooters. Remember, I had an obstructed view. Damn trees. No, they = aliens. Take a look if you don’t care if your mind gets blown.

Continue reading “We Are Not Alone – Concert Edition” →

Isn’t a Crash Just a Hard Landing?

~ Jim Flanigan

Saw this from CNN and agree that it is literally the epitome of Breaking News.

Good thing it was unmanned, although maybe a pilot could have landed it. Tesla owners with the self-driving option take note. The end result is the same – failure for Russia on two celestial orbs in our solar system.

A Lollapalooza Concert Report

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

It’s Lollapalooza weekend in Chicago, so here’s my Lolla report on the concerts I’ve seen so far. I haven’t seen any. It turns out that we needed not only a new refrigerator-freezer, but also a new hot water heater. For whatever reasons, my family insists on hot water. Bourgeois elitists. What’s next on their list of demands? Indoor plumbing?

Anyway, my concert budget plummeted to zero quicker than Trump’s chance at acquittal of all charges after another indictment. I am left with scrounging for free shows. I did get an email about a free Michael McDermott show for tonight. We have become fans, although we have seen him twice in the span of 9 months. Another time and we may graduate from fans to stalkers. And can they make this show sound a little better?

It sounds like he’ll be busking for loose change from commuters rather than headlining a free show at the Northbrook Days festival. It should be good, but it’s an hour away, so I opted for this local concert for which I “won” free tickets.

Continue reading “A Lollapalooza Concert Report” →