Month: July 2023

I Am NOT Full of Schlitz

~ Jim Flanigan

Schlitz was once the largest brewer of beer in the USA. By the time I was of legal age to buy beer, Schlitz had changed their ingredients (including the addition of silica gel) and method of brewing. From the top of the US beer world, they slid to become known and reviled as a bargain bin beer to drink if you wanted to get drunk on a budget.

It’s not like Schlitz didn’t try to convince us to drink its swill. They were famous for their “Drink Schlitz or we’ll kill you” commercials.

Yes, that is actress Teri Garr as the waitress incredibly AFTER her classic role in “Young Frankenstein.”

But I’m most impressed by this musical effort from a favorite band of mine to convince us to drink Schlitz.

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A Tale of Two Concerts

~ Jim Flanigan

How in the bloody hell did I end up at this show over the weekend?

Some say it’s because I’m Father of the Year. I volunteered to take my 15-year-old daughter and her friend to see the feminist punk band Destroy Boys. You may remember them from their haunting ballad “I Threw Glass at My Friend’s Eyes and Now I’m on Probation.” Anyway, I took these two lovely young ladies into Chicago to Metro to see the show.

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Goodbye Fridge, Hello Diet

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

We purchased a new refrigerator freezer late last week, so that started me on a new diet. I’m determined to eat all the old, suspect food in the outgoing cooler before the new one arrives Wednesday. I’ve been doing a good job. Here’s a concoction I made from an old bag of Potatoes O’Brien, ancient frozen corn (possibly of Mayan origin), some 9 month old frozen tomatoes from last year’s garden, and some chicken breast strips that nobody else in the house would eat.

I added some hot sauce, and it was delicious. More importantly, it eliminated 2 bags from the fridge-freezer. More to be emptied as long as I don’t get food poisoning first. Even without food poisoning, which I would consider to be a dieting bonus, I have dropped a couple pounds.

You may wonder why we just didn’t get our appliance repaired. I was afraid of a situation like this …

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When Truth is Not Stranger Than Fiction in Indiana

~ Jim Flanigan

Conservatives are flocking to Indiana from Illinois including some family and friends. They claim it’s about high taxes in Illinois. When they slowly explain that to us, the only thing missing is a “duh!” at the end of their explanation, as if we Illinoisans are the dopes. I have to admit, taxes are higher in Illinois, but you get what you pay for. We pay for a progressive, welcoming state. And by we, I mean the northern third of the state. I’m good with So. IL being annexed by Indiana.

I may have been a bit nasty toward Indiana in my last post. It’s not that the state is terrible or all Hoosiers (Indianans) are dumb. For example, here’s a clever satirical piece on Facebook written by an Indiana resident.

Kevin, good job! It’s well-written, especially for a Facebook post, and it makes me wish there really was a Dr. Eric Paddlejack. Nice writing, Kevin. But that’s not the weird part of the story. Apparently, this post caused quite a commotion in Indiana, especially for residents in and around the Lake Monroe area. Notice this at the bottom right of the post …

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My Bike Is Broken & So Am I

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Yep, tried to bike today, and I have a flat. So does my bike. After a dismal biking month in May, I was certain that I would do better in June. Well, I did, but it wasn’t the 100+ miles I envisioned. It wasn’t even half that. It was 42.75 miles. On my imaginary bike trip this summer, I was just about to exit Illinois and enter Indiana. Even if I hug the lakeshore on my way to Michigan, I’m not sure 42.75 miles gets me out of Indiana. Nothing personal toward Hoosiers, but I’m firmly in R. Dean Taylor’s camp when he sings this song about not wanting to go back to Indiana. If I had done better in July so far, I would plot out my progress on a map showing how far into Michigan I am. But I’ve forced myself out biking only once so far this month, and today was a failed attempt thanks to the flat. Maybe it is fitting. My daughter and I were planning a short trip taking a similar route to my imaginary bike trip, except in a car. But that trip has been canceled when she opted for a Destroy Boys concert that I have to take her to instead. More on that in another post.

I have been surprised at how well one summer exercise has been going.

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A Political Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

I saw this story and was quite interested in the details surrounding this presidential campaign event.

The full details of the story absolutely must be read on the Page Six website, but if reading isn’t your thing, here’s a YouTube synopsis.

I am so disappointed. I really wanted the climate denying farter to be RFK Jr. and for this incident to sink his sad campaign. Am I a bad guy?

Flash Fiction Failure

~ Jim Flanigan

I enjoyed the NYC Midnight 100 word flash fiction challenge last year, so I decided to give it a go again this year. I just didn’t want to be assigned the horror genre like I was last year. Of course, you can be sure I was assigned horror along with using the action of tracing something in the story and the word lite. All in 100 words. My goal this year was to make it past the first round. I did not. Here are some of the reasons the judges did not like my story.

  • If you were to create a creepier tone to start with, I think it would better flow into the reveal.
  • Having so much dialogue in such a short story started to take away from what you were able to do, and meant the narrative and characters felt a little unformed.
  • The dialogue was a liiiittle bit tacky.

Well, it wasn’t all bad news, but there wasn’t enough good news to get past the first round. Here’s all 98 words of “A Drinking Problem” that I wrote in 24 hours for the contest.

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Concert Quiz

~ Jim Flanigan

Are you up for a one question concert quiz? Lovely! Please read on. We have an extended holiday weekend in the US with lots of concerts in town. A couple friends and I were choosing between these two free concerts.

I know you’re thinking, “Who the hell is Mark Farner?” He was a vocalist, guitarist, and songwriter for Grand Funk Railroad, so certainly a front man for GFR like Gramm was for Foreigner.

Frontier Days doesn’t really take place on the frontier, but in Arlington Heights, a suburb of Chicago. It’s not that far, but I wasn’t up for a drive on consecutive evenings. We had to pick one. The setlists were compelling. Here’s a link to Gramm’s setlist featuring a veritable hit parade of familiar Foreigner tunes. Here’s the link to Farner’s setlist featuring slightly older Grand Funk hits.

So, quiz time. Which did we choose?

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