My recent foray into showbiz has been a lot like this featured image on this post – a seemingly scary and eventful ride, but literally going nowhere.
I started on the road to Hollywood by wanting to be in a Netflix series they were shooting in my town. No real reason. Just wanted to. When that didn’t happen, I can be a bit stubborn and just keep plowing forward. For example, I want a million followers of this blog. Some may think that’s impossible. I look at it that I only have 999,000 to go!
Despite having ZERO acting experience, I somehow scored a role as one of the Racist Townfolk extras in a restaurant scene in a short subject anti-racism film. I actually did a lot of acting prep for the role, like eating!
And then the restaurant scene was cut when they lost filming access to the restaurant. But not to worry, I scored another role as Office Worker in something that I think is a web series. It was a bit of typecasting as I had spent many years as an office worker in real life. And if I forgot how to be an office worker, all I need to do is refresh my memory by watching some scenes from The Office. I planned to pattern my role after Creed.
That is so Creed and so me. But then I got the shooting date, and it is in direct conflict with my daughter’s confirmation at church. Talk about a cruel God.
Not one to ever take a hint, I did a Zoom audition yesterday for a paying, speaking role as Family Member #2 in an anti-Big Pharma film. I should know in about ten days if I’m cast in the movie or cast aside like Nicholas Cage’s hairpiece after a full day on the set. I think I should probably try and get into the role a bit, so I am looking for a way to get a prescription for oxycontin or at least some cough syrup with codeine, my beverage of choice. Maybe it will ease my pain from a broken heart after losing those other roles.
And if I never get cast for anything, I will look to religion and The Reverend Horton Heat for these words of wisdom that I hope will bring solace and comfort to my soul but probably won’t … That’s Showbiz.