NRA Unveils Plan to Deter Mass Shootings

Head of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, cut a ceremonial ribbon on what the NRA hopes will be their deterrent for future mass shootings.

LaPierre Ribbon

The ribbon cutting marked the opening of the NRA’s “mass shooter” wing in their NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia.


Potential mass shooters can rent this new space for a nominal fee, and execute their mass shooting rampage in a realistic office setting on mannequins, or for an additional fee, real actors. The mass shooters can use their real guns, but with blanks. LaPierre was quick to assure potential mass shooters that “the mannequins in the basic Winchester package will be filled with realistic looking blood and with the upgraded Smith & Wesson package, the actors will certainly portray their deaths in a satisfyingly gruesome and grisly manner.”

When asked about plans to open a West Coast facility to satiate potential mass shooters on the other side of the country, LaPierre was quick to respond that there are no plans for a western facility and noted that California is full of too many liberals and minorities anyway, so …